You Can't Plan Love
by SilverKitsune2017
Summary: Fem Shikamaru x Sasuke. She might have been a genius, but Shika Nara had only ever wanted a simple life. Her plan was to become a ninja, to marry an average man, and to have average children. Sadly, those plans had to be pushed aside for the war. Once that was over though, she had fully expected things to go back to normal. Naturally, that's when Sasuke showed up.
1. Chapter 1

You Can't Plan Love

 **Author's Note:** I got a lot of requests for this pairing. So I decided to give it a shot. This is a female Shikamaru x Sasuke story. In this story, Shikamaru was born female and her name is Shika. This story will take place after the war and will eventually diverge radically from canon. This fic is also one of several that I"m hoping to release in late January 2018. Viewer reception will play a large role in determining how quickly it will get updated. If any of that bothers you, you might want to turn back now. For those of you still here, I hope you enjoy this story and reviews are always appreciated.

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing and make no profit from any of my fanfics.

Chapter 1

"You've got to be kidding me." Shika Nara tries her best not to gape at Kakashi. "You want me to what?" The Sixth Hokage couldn't possibly be serious.

He probably was though. It was a drag, but the cheerful ninja rarely changed his mind once an idea got into that eccentric mind of his. Which could mean only one thing. She was completely and utterly screwed in one the worst ways possible.

The silver haired man chuckles at her expression. "I really wish that you wouldn't act like I just sentenced you to your death." The man was now smiling at her in an infuriatingly serene way that makes Shika want to twitch. "I'm merely asking you to help Sasuke assimilate back into the village and to informally monitor his progress."

Right. She could read between the lines. "You want me to be his babysitter because I'm one of the few people who isn't scared of him." That and the CopyCat Ninja had her between a rock and a hard place. "Being seen with the Hokage's assistant will help reassure people that Sasuke isn't going to defect again."

The Hokage places a bookmark inside the novel he was reading and smiles at her. "Babysitting carries such a negative connotation." Maybe, but that's what he was asking her to do. "Sasuke is a grown man, not a child." That was exactly what she was afraid of. "You're right about everything else though. Besides, I think he's more likely to be pleasantly disposed towards you than most of the other people I could assign this mission to."

Shika couldn't for the life of her see why. Her interactions with Sasuke had been minimal at best. Then again, the same could be said for most of the village really. The only difference really was that she wouldn't be shaking like a leaf next to him.

"How do you figure that?" She raises an eyebrow.

There was no way that she was going to allow Kakashi to get away with making a statement like that and not explain himself. If he was really going to shove this 'informal' mission onto her, the young woman was entitled to be fully briefed.

He glances at the clock. "Well you and Sasuke have never had any sort of grudge with each other, you were peers at the Academy, and I believe that your more…easygoing nature will compliment his more aggressive one." Uh huh. "He could use more friends. Preferably friends who he can have a conversation with that doesn't end in Chidoris and Rasengans flying."

That was a fair point. "Naruto is the only one who has ever been able to really reach him and not end up dead in the process." There had been several extremely close calls though. "No offense. I just don't have that kind of firepower. So yeah, I'm not going to challenge him to combat."

She could run thousands of scenarios through her mind about fighting Sasuke and Shika wouldn't kid herself about any of them. The woman would be damn lucky to come out on top in even a handful of them.

Shika didn't have his chakra reserves or his fancy bloodline. She didn't have his stamina. The only chance that she would have to beat him in a fight would be to outsmart him and that wouldn't be easy to do either. She had seen his test scores at the Academy as well as anyone.

The young ninja was confident in her intellectual prowess though. She could outsmart him. It would just actually be something of a challenge. In a strange way, it would be like fighting Temari. Sasuke was capable of being a good tactician when his rage didn't get the better of him.

"None taken." He smiles at her. "I trust that Sasuke is pulling himself out of the darkness. He's not going to pick a fight with you." Shika wouldn't be so sure about that. "He only just got a pardon. Sasuke isn't foolish enough to throw it away because you two have a minor disagreement about something."

Maybe. Still, she didn't really have a choice. Someone had to watch Sasuke and Kakashi couldn't do it all the time. He was Hokage. There were other matters that needed his attention.

"What a drag." She lets out a heavy sigh. "Alright. I'll try, but I doubt it'll do much good. I mean what do you want me to do with him?" It wasn't like he could go on missions at the moment.

Seriously, what did Kakashi expect her to do with him? Walk around the village with Sasuke like they were friends? Repeatedly?

"He's still recovering from his arm transplant and even if that wasn't a factor, you can't assign him missions outside the village and assigning them inside the village wouldn't be a good idea either." That was one sure fire way to start a panic.

The silver haired Kage smiles. "Well whatever you like." The idiot was rather fortunate that Shika wasn't one of those deluded admirers of Sasuke. "I imagine he'll be most interested in rebuilding his District, but there is always cloud watching and Shogi."

That could have easily been taken the wrong way. She could do whatever she wanted with him? Surely, Kakashi had seen the innuendo in that one.

Innuendo or not, it took every ounce of strength she had not to burst into a fit of laughter at the suggestions. Sasuke Uchiha was not someone who watched clouds and played games to pass the time. It was likely he trained and he might possibly do some reading to supplement his training.

"Sasuke won't do either of those things." She shakes her head.

Those were her hobbies. Not the Uchiha's. Kakashi should know better than to suggest something like that.

Kakashi smiles at her. "He did participate in cloud watching while he was on Team Seven." That was difficult to imagine. "As for Shogi, it's a strategy game and Sasuke is rather competitive. He'd probably play it just to prove he could beat you."

Pft. He was not going to beat her at Shogi. That was one area where Shika had the advantage over him and she certainly wasn't going to lose it.

"I doubt that he'd beat me at Shogi." She snorts in amusement. "Alright. Where is he? I'm assuming you want me to get started as soon as possible?"

"I'm right behind you." A velvety voice causes Shika to jump two feet into the air. "As for Shogi, I've never played before. Kakashi is right though. I love a challenge."

Damn it. Shika couldn't believe that she had let her guard down like that. As she tries to will her heart to stop pounding, the young woman dares herself to look back at the man who she was now in charge of.

Sasuke Uchiha. Someone who could actually destroy mountains and hold his own (while fighting alongside Naruto) against Madara.

"What a drag." She shakes her head, hoping like Hell that she at least sounded casual and unaffected by his presence. "Teaching someone how to play Shogi can be a real pain. I guess we might as well get started then." She stretches and yawns. "I want to get home at a decent hour so I can help tend to the deer."

She didn't dare say that her mother and father would be waiting for her at dinner. Nor did Shika want to tell him about her Clan's forest. The word Clan and any variation of family were firmly off limits around him as far as she was concerned.

Shika might not like Sasuke much, but she wasn't that cruel. That would just be pouring salt in his emotional wounds.

"Sounds fine to me." Sasuke nods. "That way I can get in a decent amount of training before it gets too late." Right. Of course, that would be his primary concern.

"Shouldn't you let yourself get used to your new arm first?" Not that Shika particularly cared, but it was the principle of the thing.

Perhaps, she should have expected it, but Sauske shakes his head. It seemed that he wasn't going to wait to get used to his transplant before training. Figures.

He smirks at her. "I can't channel chakra in it yet, but I want to get used to using it." The last Uchiha looks at his former Sensei. "Kakashi knows that the Loser will never let me hear the end of it, if I don't at least try to use this arm."

Ah. Of course. It would circle back to Naruto. Would those two ever stop competing against one another? Shika doubted it.

"Good to know." She smiles at him. "Well then, I suppose that we should get started. Where did you want to go first?"

Smiling would be a good idea. The last thing she needed was for Sasuke to fly off the handle because he felt like she was picking a fight with him. He seemed to be acting normal enough for now though.

"My District would probably be best." Lovely. Sasuke was just as social as ever, Shika observes. "Gives us a chance to get used to each other without all the stares and whispers. After all, we both know what game Kakashi is playing here."

Kakashi whistles and tries to feign innocent. "I have no idea what you mean." Apparently, even Sasuke wasn't buying it.

"Right." He rolls his eyes. "You didn't assign Shika to monitor my behavior in an effort to soothe the village's anxiety about my return then?"

Like Shika said, Sasuke was smart. She had seen his Academy scores. That and well, few people would know Kakashi better than his students.

"Sasuke, just try to play nicely with the other kiddies for once." Kakashi smiles at him.

It was quite a testament to his self-control that Sasuke didn't roll his eyes again. "Whatever you say." He then turns his attention back to Shika. "Are you ready to go?"

By Sasuke standards, this was likely considered polite behavior. "I'm ready." This was such a drag, but she'd play nice for now. After all, if Sasuke was going to be civil, she might as well return the favor.

* * *

A few minutes later, Sasuke and Shika were heading towards his District. Maybe, it was the painkillers talking, but the last Uchiha found himself rather amused by this situation.

Kakashi had actually done it. "You know why he chose you, right?" He had gone and found someone who was about as neutral towards him as it was possible to be.

They knew each other in passing from the Academy, but Shika had never been one of his admirers. She wasn't a rival, a friend, or an enemy. The woman was just someone he vaguely knew and who Sasuke suspected probably had a somewhat negative opinion of him, but was too much of a professional to openly show it.

"Because I'm the only woman in this village who doesn't cower at the mention of your name or want to have your children, I know." She shakes her head. "Are we close?" She looks around. "People are already starting to stare. So try to keep your voice low if you can."

Sasuke blinks at her assessment. Whatever he had been expecting her to say, that wasn't it. Sadly, it was accurate. People generally had one of four responses to him these days. They feared, hated, admired, or lusted after him.

It was really only Team Seven and Taka who didn't fall into one of those camps. Maybe, Shika did as well though. She certainly didn't act like she feared or hated him. Nor did she act like she wanted to have his babies as the woman had so 'tactfully' put it.

"That's one way of looking at it." There was no point in disputing her statement. "Oh and yes, we're almost there." He nods at her.

Sasuke could already hear the whispers and the chattering going around. Shika had become a hero in the war for her role in helping to bring the Allied Shinobi Forces. The fact that he was even within a thousand feet of her was sure to get every tongue in this village wagging.

"Good." She sighs as she runs her fingers through her long, pitch black hair.

At some point, she must have managed to tame those spikes a good deal. "You grew your hair out." He could remember her hair being shorter and pulled into a spiky bun at the Academy.

Those dark tresses now reached to the curve of her hips. Bound in a simple high ponytail. Maybe, it was the ponytail that had tamed most of the spikiness, he muses.

"Well yeah." She shakes her head. "Been awhile since we last saw each other. Hair does grow." Who knew she could be so sarcastic? "It was a drag to keep cutting it, so I just let it grow out and it's easier to put it in a ponytail. Wait. Why are we having this conversation?"

He had no idea. It was a stray thought that occurred to him. "Something to talk about. If they see me talking to you, they're less likely to think that I'm going to destroy the village." It was the truth, but it wasn't the whole truth.

"I guess that's a good point." She nods as she walks next to him.

Yes, her hair had definitely grown out to her hips. Her hips which now had a nice curve to them. Sasuke had never really paid much attention to such things before, but it was hard not to notice such things when someone was walking right next to you.

Maybe, it was because he hadn't seen her in such a long time. Whatever the reason, she was filling out that green Jonin vest and those gray pants of hers very nicely. It was rare to see a female ninja who didn't have a lean, muscular, or willowy body type.

He nods as they continue walking side by side. "There was a reason why I graduated at the top of the Academy." Shika feels her lips twitch upwards in amusement at that. Kakashi was right. Sasuke really was competitive.

"What a drag." After waiting a few minutes and allowing Sasuke to think he'd 'won,' Shika decides to launch a counterstrike. "You did well because you're smart and you're strong, but if I had wanted to I could have beaten you easily on test scores."

They both knew it. While Sasuke definitely had a genetic advantage over her, this was one area that Shika knew she could outshine him. She knew such behaviors were childish, but it still felt nice to know that she could beat someone like him at anything.

"Probably." Sasuke actually smirks at her. "You didn't try though. Nine times out of ten, you'd rather do a tactical retreat than fight." He pauses for a moment before pointing to the only building still standing in the District. "I heard about your fight with Temari and we're here."

That was irritating. Shika had never really cared what others thought about her. What she cared about was completing the mission in the least troublesome way possible, but for some reason well what he just said bugged her. A lot.

"Not everyone gets off on near death experiences." She shakes her head as she enters the house with him. "I'd rather live to fight another day which is why regular ninjas tend to live longer than exceptional ones." They always liked to push their limits just a little too far. "People like the Sannin, Onokai, and the Third Hokage are in the minority. If you push your luck long enough, it eventually runs out."

Why she was having this conversation, Shika didn't know. Probably her pride. She should have known better than to get those digs in. This might not end well.

"You're probably right about that." Sasuke shrugs. "I guess given the choice between being a lion for a day or a lamb for a lifetime, I chose the lion and you chose the lamb. Though in your case, it might be more out of laziness than anything else."

Was he insulting her or bantering? Normally, she'd assume it was an insult. Sasuke was smiling though.

"The two aren't mutually exclusive." Shika shakes her head at him and tries to salvage her pride. "The nail that sticks out the most is usually the one that gets pounded down the first."

Sasuke leads her to the kitchen. "If anyone else said that to me, I'd assume it was a threat." Damn. Why hadn't she considered that possibility before? It did sound like a threat.

Her words might have sounded like a threat, but the environment didn't. Bizarre. This place looked like any other kitchen. There was no thing about this place that told the tale of the Uchiha Massacre. At least not here.

"It's not a threat." She bites her lower lip and tries to figure out how to get out of this troublesome mess. "I'm not masochistic enough to pick a fight with you. I'm not scared of you, but it'd be a drag to fight you."

He was different now than before. Shika had barely known him at the Academy and before the war, but she could see it. The way he moved around reminded her of a ghost and a black panther at the same time.

It was like Sasuke was in the kitchen with her and yet, he wasn't. His journey had done some good. It was just a question of how much?

She meant it when she said she wasn't scared of him though. "You sure about that?" A kunai goes flying at her, landing right beside her cheek. "I was a criminal ninja, after all. Some people say that I'm the next Madara."

"Then they're wrong." The kunai hadn't even grazed her. "Madara wouldn't have walked me back to the Uchiha District. He would have just killed me automatically and he never would have thrown a kunai, if he didn't intend to hit me."

Sasuke blinks at that. It seemed that she had stunned him. Good. That was a start. If she was going to survive this strange assignment, Shika knew one thing without a doubt. She needed to plan everything perfectly. There was no room for error.

* * *

Pakkun was thoroughly exhausted after tailing Shika and Sasuke. It was a longer walk to the Uchiha District than he remembered. Still, Kakashi had given him a job to do and there was no way that he could let the other man down.

"How'd it go?" Kakashi smiles as the canine pads his way inside the Hokage's Office.

How'd it go? Well it had been exhausting, but Pakkun knew that wasn't what the other ninja meant. "They seemed to be getting along about as well as could be expected." He lays down on the rug. "Perhaps, a bit better than expected really. Are you sure this was a good idea though?"

Shika was a genius, but she also was about as aggressive as those deer that her family tended to. Well unless it was a life or death battle or she was avenging her Sensei. That brought the fire out of her.

"Well they do say opposites attract." Kakashi nods knowledgably. "I can't really think of two people more different. That and they do have a couple things in common. They're both young, prodigies."

Maybe, he had a point. They didn't seem to be struggling for things to talk about on their way back to Sasuke's home. Pakkun could only hope that this wouldn't somehow backfire though.

There were at least a million ways it could. "Are you really hoping that they'll have puppies together or something?" With Kakashi it was truly hard to tell.

"Oh. I wasn't thinking that far ahead." Kakashi smiles as he flips another page in his book. "I just think that Sasuke could use a friend who he doesn't get into life or death fights with on a daily basis."

Pakkun snorts at that. Kakashi hadn't changed, even after all these years. The canine almost couldn't believe that the man had said that with a straight face. Almost. After all, this was still Kakashi.

"You know for a ninja, you're a very bad liar." Pakkun sighs.

Kakashi sighs dramatically and places a hand over his heart. "I'll try to improve my lying skills." He then chuckles. "Alright though. Fine, have it your way. I suppose you caught me. I'm attempting a little matchmaking." Uh huh. "What's the worst that could happen?"

Pakkun feels his eyes nearly pop out of his head as soon as the human said that. "You can't say something like that!" The man should know better than that. "You just jinxed everything. As soon as anyone says that, horrible things happen."

"Pakkun, you worry too much." He smiles at the Ninja Dog and tosses him a doggie biscuit. "I'm sure that things will work out just fine and the puppies as you call them will be absolutely adorable."

Oh boy. Kakashi had lost his mind. There was no way that this could possibly end well. Oh well. Pakkun supposed he might as well stock up on popcorn and enjoy the show.


	2. Chapter 2

You Can't Plan Love

 **Author's Note:** Thanks for all the reviews. I wanted to update this one sooner, but I got caught up in my other stories and real life got in the way. For those of you interested, feel free to check out my profile to see when various stories are hopefully going to be updated. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter.

 **Chapter Notation:** Yes, Shika's father is alive in this AU.

Chapter 2

Sasuke leads Shika into the remains of the Uchiha District. It wounded his pride, but there wasn't much left that was actually still standing and it reminded Sasuke far too much of a graveyard for his liking.

"I see they put up a cabin fast." His fellow Leaf Ninja looks around as if in a bit of a daze. "Which is good, but I assume that you plan to rebuild the rest of it?"

That cabin had only been put up so he'd have a place to sleep. It annoyed Sasuke, but it was a bit better than sleeping out in the open. Soon enough though, he would restore his childhood home.

So he nods at her curtly. "Yes, I have the blueprints and pictures of what it originally looked like." By the time it was done, it was going to be like nothing had ever happened.

Pain's invasion and the war might have taken a lot from him, but he would have his family's District back. It might take him awhile, but that was fine with Sasuke. It wasn't as though he had anything better to do for the foreseeable future anyway.

"Let me guess, you're obsessively going to make sure that every nook and cranny looks exactly the same as it did before." Shika raises an eyebrow at him. "Is that about the size of it?"

Well, they didn't call her a genius for nothing. It was probably a good thing that the Nara Heiress was so damn lazy. Otherwise, Madara should have trembled in terror at the power of that mind of hers.

Sasuke nods again though. "Something like that." More like, exactly like that. Though he wasn't going to quibble.

He didn't have the heart to do so. Everywhere he looked, he saw debris from buildings and overgrown weeds. Weeds, grass, trees, and other vegetation had completely taken over the place.

Nature did have a way of reclaiming everything gin the end, he supposed. Hell, Sasuke was sure, that he had even spotted a fawn out of the corner of his eye. Which was ironic given that Shika's name meant deer.

"Sasuke, watch it." Shika grabs his arm and nudges him away.

Only for Sasuke to hear the startled quack of several ducklings and the angry quacking of it's mother. "You almost stepped on him." Ducks. There were freaking ducks in his District!

How did Shika know it was a boy duck though? Nevermind. The duck's gender didn't matter in this equation.

"Thanks." He sighs and shakes his head. "The last thing that I want added to my list of crimes is being a duckling killer."

He really needed to pay more attention. It was just so sad to see all the wooed, the shattered glass, and broken nails surrounded by the overgrown plants. It looked like no one had lived here for at least a century, save for that damn cabin.

"Yes, I'm sure that's what would upset people most about your past." She shakes her head in amusement. "Stepping on a baby duck." Well, it did sound ridiculous when she put it that way, but honestly Sasuke didn't need people to have yet another reason to despise him.

So the last Uchiha simply shrugs at her words. "We should probably get set up in the cabin and then you can send a clone out shopping for supplies." The two of them walk towards that disturbingly cute cabin together. "I doubt you wanna have to brave the crowds again with me tonight."

To be honest, he didn't even want to go out again. He'd had more than his fair share of stares and whispers for the day. Thank you, very much.

"Alright." She nods at him. "That sounds like a plan. You might want to watch your step though." Shika actually has the audacity to laugh at him. "So you don't step on anymore cute, woodland animals or nails."

Sasuke snorts at that. Pft. Alright. He had literally walked into that one, but whatever. They had more important things to focu son.

"Noted." With that being said, they make their way towards the cabin and he quickly opens the door. "Looks like Kakashi and Naruto didn't bother to lock it."

Not that there had really been much of a reason to do so. After all, who would be stupid enough to come to his District? Let alone suicidal enough to mess with his stuff? Almost no one and besides, the cabin was probably empty anyway.

"There wasn't really a need to." Shika shrugs at him. "We both know why." With that being said, they step inside the place together and Sasuke looks around curiously.

Hmm. So as far as he could tell at first glance it looked like it was only the essentials, but it was still cozy. He could see two bedrooms, a kitchen, bathroom, closet, and a tiny living room.

"Well it looks like they got everything important." Thank goodness for the two bedrooms or else someone would have been sleeping on the couch, Sasuke thinks to himself.

Probably him. It wasn't Shika's fault she got assigned to babysit him and he'd certainly slept on far worse than that.

Shika nods as she heads the kitchen and opens some oak wood cupboards. "I'm shocked, but it looks like someone had the foresight to get groceries ahead of time." Ah. Well that was nice.

He hadn't felt like going to the Market District and having Shika send a clone would have been annoying.

"That's good." Hopefully, it was edible though. "What do the expiration dates say though?" Oh and if he was really lucky, there might even be some tomatoes.

There was a slight pause. "Looks like everything is good." Well, Shika was efficient in the kitchen. Who knew?

* * *

Kakashi chuckles as he takes in the baffled expressions of Taka. It was hardly surprising that they were all so confused.

"So you're really offering us pardons and a chance to become Leaf Villagers?" Suigetsu tilts his head as if he thought Kakashi had lost his mind. "Why? I don't get it."

Of course, that was a perfectly logical reaction. The silver haired ninja was confident that many people would be having the same reaction when they found out he was offering pardons to Sasuke's second team. Not that that would stop him.

He smiles at them pleasantly. "Because for the most part, you were all victims of your circumstances." Kakashi sighs as he looks at Karin first. "You had no other choice because of how people treated you when they found out about your gift and Jugo was in essentially the same situation."

The red head and giant both go quiet for a moment. Karin was biting her lower lip and Jugo was furrowing his brows as they thought over his words.

"You're right." The bespectacled woman nods in agreement. "Though I'm still not sure why you trust us." Before pointing at Suigetsu. "Especially him."

Sugietsu just grins back, displaying his abnormally sharp teeth. It was a swordsmen thing though. Well at least for the Seven Swordsmen of the Hidden Mist it was.

"Well, I guess he was just won over by how clearly awesome I am." The boy definitely didn't suffer from self-esteem issues, Kakashi muses.

Kakashi just chuckles in response. "Suigestu has a valuable bloodline and there are few ninjas better with a blade than he is." He needed to do this very carefully, if he was going to enlist their help. "As for Karin, she's an amazing Sensory Type and her healing abilities are formidable."

How could he explain Jugo though? That boy was in a very unique situation to say the least.

"What about me?" The orange haired man looks at him in concern. "Aren't you worried, that I'll go into a rage?"

The thought had occurred to Kakashi, but he was confident that he could keep that from happening. "Not with Sasuke around and even if you did, you would be properly restrained before anyone got seriously hurt." Well more specifically, a certain Uchiha would handle it. Why quibble over technicalities though?

Jugo nods at that. It seemed that he had pacified all of them for the time being. Good. Now, it was time to move into the next phase of his plan.

"That and I do have a very important mission that I would like you all to help me with." He smiles at them. "Sasuke's District is in need of serious repairs and I'm afraid that I do have concerns he might have trouble reintegrating himself into the village."

Karin pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "Oh so that's it." The red head obviously thought that she had figured out what Kakashi was 'really' up to. "You want us to help Sasuke with rebuilding his District and keep an eye on him to make sure that he's settling in nicely."

Kakashi simply nods. All of that was true. It just wasn't the full truth. After all, a ninja must see through deception. So if they didn't ask any further questions, well that was more their own fault than anything else.

"Alright." Suigetsu nods. "We can do that." He grins at them. "Do either of you two idiots know how to put up buildings?"

Karin twitches at that and starts beating Suigetsu up. Well, if nothing else, Taka would make a rather entertaining addition to the Leaf. Poor Jugo. Kakashi truly had no idea how he ever managed to keep Karin and Suigetsu from killing each other.

"I do." Jugo smiles and shakes his head. "Come on." He gestures for them to follow him. "We should get going. Sasuke just got out of the hospital. He could use the extra hands and don't worry, Karin." The gentle giant was already heading off. "I'll show you what to do." With that being said, Taka takes off.

For a moment, Kakashi almost felt guilty about manipulating them. Only for a moment though. It wasn't as if anyone was actually going to get hurt by his matchmaking attempts.

* * *

A few minutes later, Shika was trying her best not to laugh. It was difficult though. Sasuke had apparently been serious about wanting to learn Shogi and well, he was also serious about that tomato sandwich.

"What are you laughing at?" Sasuke demands after swallowing a bite of said sandwich.

To be fair, she had actually been laughing and the Uchiha in question wasn't actually doing anything unusual by most people's standards. That was what made it so funny.

The Sasuke Uchiha was playing Shogi and eating a sandwich. For some reason, that was just completely hysterical to her.

"Nothing." She smiles at him. "I'm just enjoying handing your ass to you at Shogi." It was a very nice ass, but it was being handed to him all the same.

Of course, no one was going to beat her at this game. This was also Sasuke's first time playing. He was doing rather well, especially for a newbie. That just wouldn't be enough against someone like her though.

"We only just started." Sasuke snorts at her. "I wouldn't be so confident that you're going to win just yet."

He was ridiculously competitive at anything. Shika doubted that he had ever just goofed off for the sake of it in his entire life. Oh well. He was still going to lose this thing. Believe it as Naruto used to say.

She laughs and moves her piece forward. "Yes, I know." He obviously didn't really know who he was dealing with though. "It's just that I estimate I'll beat you in the next three to five moves at most."

Sasuke raises an eyebrow. "You're just saying that." No. She really wasn't. It was one of the perks of being a genius. The laws of probability were easy for her to figure out.

Shika just shakes her head again as Sasuke makes his next move. It was a good move, perhaps even a great one. Though it was one she had anticipated that he would try.

"I'm not." She smirks at him. "I have an 89% chance of winning in the next three moves and a 98% chance of wining within the next five."

Sasuke rolls his eyes at her. It was hard to believe that this was a man who had once killed Orochimaru. At the moment, Sasuke seemed like any other teenager his age.

"Prove it." He snorts at her.

Well a absurdly competitive teenager, but still. What would he have been like, if the Massacre had never happened? Shika had never really liked Sasuke before now, but she knew when someone had been dealt a rotten hand and he definitely had.

Psychology could be a fascinating subject. "I will." The nature vs. nurture debate was as old as time and Sasuke was a prime example of it. "Just don't start crying when you lose."

Shika smirks as she makes her next move. If she knew Sasuke as well as she thought she did, he'd fall right into her trap.

Just because she hadn't liked him much, didn't mean that the Nara Heiress hadn't noticed him. It was hard not to notice the guy who was at the top of the class and always in a fistfight with Naruto.

"I'm not going to cry over some stupid board game." Sasuke rolls his eyes at her.

For some reason, it was kinda cute when he did that. Though Shika immediately chastises herself for that thought. Sasuke Uchiha was many things, but cute wasn't one of them.

She wasn't blind. He was attractive, but in the same way a tiger was. One could admire the tiger in awe, but one would be stupid to try to pet it in the wild.

"Good." She smirks as makes exactly the same move that Shika had expected him to. This was going to be fun.

* * *

A short while later, Jugo tries his best not to shiver at the strange place they found themselves in. The District had clearly been completely decimated by Pain's attack.

"This is going to take a lot of work." He sighs as he looks around.

Sasuke had to be so depressed at seeing his childhood home in such a state. This was just heartbreaking. The home of a once mighty Clan had been reduced to little more than rubble.

Suigetsu actually shivers. "This place is creepy." He shakes his head as the three of them make their way further into the Uchiha District. "Maybe, Sassy would be better off just buying some new land and starting from scratch."

Jugo could certainly understand why Suigetsu would suggest such a thing. There was something in the air that was rather unsettling. If ghosts actually existed, this was definitely prime habit for them.

"Just shut up!" Karin actually whacks Suigetsu up side the head. "Sasuke isn't going to leave his Clan's home behind. Are you crazy?"

That was a good point, but they had actual work to do. "Come on." He continues walking. "I see a cabin ahead. Kakashi must have had it built as a temporary home for Sasuke."

It would make the most sense. So with that thought in mind, Jugo knocks on the door. What he found on the other side surprised him though. Sasuke was playing Shogi with some girl that he didn't recognize.

Sasuke had been close to victory. He was sure of it, but that was when someone knocks on the door. It was Jugo and he wasn't alone.

"Damn it." The raven haired ninja mutters under his breath.

He didn't mind seeing Jugo. He liked Jugo and Karin had mostly outgrown her 'crush' on him, but Sugiestu was another story. Sugietsu was going to take one look at Shika and a predictable series of events would follow.

All of which would be annoying. "Not one word, Suigetsu." Sasuke sighs as he rises to his feet.

Because it was Sugietsu. The water lover just loved to be annoying. Granted, he wasn't so bad once you got to know him. Though the idiot did derive entirely too much pleasure from being stupid on purpose.

"Awe, Sassy." He grins at him. "Is that really any way to greet your friends?" The swordsman looks at Shikamaru curiously. "So whose the babe and did you finally get a girlfriend? It's cool if you did." Sasuke moves to gag Suigetsu, but he was too late. "I mean I think a large reason why you're so damn grouchy all the time is because of sexual frustration."

Sasuke was about to chuck a Chidori or at least a fireball at the idiot, but he never got the chance. A shadow moved and grabbed Suigetsu's, sending him flying against the wall.

Luckily, it was a 'love tap' by ninja standards. "He might also be in a bad mood because it's a drag having at least one idiot for a teammate." Well, Shika had a point there.

Sasuke never would have expected her to pull something like that though. Surely, Shika knew who Sugietsu was. She had played a crucial role in the war and had been part of his retrieval team and yet, she hadn't hesitated to send Suigetsu flying.

"Ouch." Suigetsu tries to get up, but the shadow just wouldn't let him go. "Alright. You made your point." He grins at Sasuke. "Damn. You sure picked a feisty one to be your girlfriend."

Sasuke wasn't sure who was more furious at this point. Him or Shika. It was a close call really.

"Be quiet, you idiot!" Karin marches over to him. "Thanks for that." It looks like she was planning to deliver quite the sound beating, but Jugo sighs and gets in the middle of the squabble.

Jugo was definitely the centering force in Taka. "Alright." He smiles at them all. "I think that's enough fighting for today. Kakashi sent us here to help Sasuke rebuild his District." Damn Kakashi. "Not destroy it." That man really needed to stop meddling or else Sasuke was going to get pissed.

Still, Jugo did have a point. The District was already in shatters and he didn't want the only still standing building to be wrecked too.

He still couldn't believe what had happened to this place during Pain's invasion. His Clan used to be famous for defending the village during attacks and his District probably hadn't lasted more than a few minutes before the Akatsuki shattered it.

"Whatever." Sasuke shakes his head as he looks at Shika. "Release the idiot. We've got work to do." A lot of it.

It was nice that the other ninja actually knew how to follow orders because Shika let's Suigetsu go. "Alright." She sighs and crosses her arms. "I assume that you have the blueprints. We're probably going to need a lot of shadow clones, if we want to do this in any reasonable amount of time."

She had a point there, especially with his arm. Though Sasuke wasn't going to say that out loud. It was perfectly workable. He just needed to treat it gingerly for awhile.

"She's pretty bossy." Suigetsu snickers as he notices a nearby bag and picks it up. "I would have expected leather, given her bossy streak. So the red lace is a little surprising."

Wait. What? Was Suigetsu implying what he thought he was implying.

Apparently, he was because Shika smacks her forehead. "What a drag." She glares at him. "That was a birthday present from Ino and just shut up." She looks at Sasuke. "How do you put up with him?"

"Believe me, there are days when I ask myself the same question." Sasuke sighs.

Though it was hard to get the image of Shika in red lace out of his head. Wonderful. He must have spent entirely too much time around Kakashi or something. He should definitely not be imagining the Nara Heiress in red lace.


	3. Chapter 3

You Can't Plan Love

 **Author's Note:** Thanks for the reviews. If you have any suggestions or requests for this story, please feel free to let me know and I'll see if I can work them in somehow. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter.

Chapter 3

Two weeks had passed since Shika had had first come to the Uchiha District and well, who knew that fourteen days could make such a large difference? Never before had she gone from barely tolerating someone to whatever this was so quickly.

"I won." She smirks at him. "That means you're making dinner."

Were they friends? Shika wasn't entirely sure, but they weren't enemies anymore though. The Nara Heiress didn't think that he technically qualified as her comrade either.

Sasuke glares at the board as if he wanted to set it on fire with his eyes. "Damn it." Which was actually a legitimate possibility, considering he was an Uchiha and she had heard of the Amaterasu.

"You're never going to beat me a Shogi." Shika tries her best not to laugh. "I don't know why you bother to try, but it does pass the time during lunch."

That and his competitive nature was easily taken advantage of. If one wanted compliance out of Sasuke, a bet or some kind of contest was generally the fastest way to get it.

If looks could kill, Shika would already be a dead woman. "I've fought against Haku, Zabuza, Deidara, Orochimaru, Danzo, and Madara." Uh huh. "if I can survive that, I can beat you at a damn game."

She wasn't entirely sure, if it was cute or a bit frightening. "While there is some overlap in skill sets for both Shogi and battle, it's not exactly the same." Shika couldn't resist teasing him. "If it was a battle to the death, I'd be worried. Shogi is my specialty though. You should stick to brooding."

Sasuke snorts at that. Well, at least he knew better than to deny it. The Uchiha in question knew it was true.

"I don't brood." Sasuke rolls his mismatched eyes at her.

Alright. Perhaps, she had spoken too soon there. Sasuke apparently was living in denial about how broody he was.

"Whatever you say." She stretches lazily. "I think fish sounds great for tonight."

Shika didn't miss the way his eyes followed her when she stretched. If it was anyone else, the lazy genius would accuse them of being a pervert. This was Sasuke though. He was just…intense in everything he did.

"Course it does." Sasuke stands up and shakes his head. "When you're not the one cooking it. Removing the scales is a drag."

Oh now, he was just taunting her. "Touché." The young woman couldn't find it in her to be angry though. She had walked into that one.

Sasuke merely nods as he gestures for her to follow him outside. "We've got several hours until dinner." Damn it. Would it kill this guy to be a little more lazy? "We might as well make the most of it. We're making real progress on rebuilding everything."

He wasn't saying anything that wasn't true though. They had already put up the foundations of most of the buildings and the walls were starting to take shape.

"Yeah." She yawns as they head out the door. "I guess you're right. This is such a drag." Rebuilding things was always a lot harder than tearing them down. "Though I guess it's good for you to actually make something instead of blowing it up."

Sasuke rolls his eyes at that and flicks her forehead as they walk outside together. "Whatever. You're good at Shogi." Yep. That was true. "I'm good at destroying things."

That last part was intended to sound playful, but Shika knew better. She was far from a counselor, but she wasn't unobservant.

"Sasuke, I meant that mostly as a joke." He was brooding again. "You're good at more than destruction."

One lavender and one ruby red eye stares at her skeptically. "Oh really?" This wouldn't end well. "You're supposed to be a genius. Go ahead and name one other things that I'm good at then."

She shouldn't have said anything. Shika knew that he had a lot of talents, but the man had just put her on the spot.

"Stripping." Which never ended well, even for geniuses.

Sasuke blinks at that. "What did you say?" Gods and Goddesses help her, she didn't just say that Sasuke Uchiha was good at _**that**_!

What had she done to deserve this? All Shika wanted to do was to live an average life and to have an average family. She had never wanted to be in charge of supervising Sasuke Uchiha's recovery and now, Shika had gone and made a complete fool of herself.

"Nothing." She shakes her head quickly. "That was just a slip of the tongue."

Sasuke raises a disturbingly perfect eyebrow at that. "I'm pretty sure you just said I was good at stripping." Well, he was.

It wasn't Shika's fault that he tended to lose his shirt sometime during construction. Not that she could entirely blame him. It did get hot sometimes and if you were a guy, it wasn't too unusual to walk around shirtless.

"I'm pretty sure that you need your hearing checked." Shika nods vigorously as if to prove her point.

Sasuke clearly was trying to decide if she was lying or not. "You're either better at lying than most of the other Rookies or you're telling the truth." Shika wasn't sure how to react to that.

So she just starts working on putting up some more support beams. Maybe, if she started working…Sasuke would just forget about her stupidity.

"You're picking up Kakashi's horrible procrastination habits." Thank goodness for hammers and Districts that needed to be repaired.

Sasuke actually looks mildly horrified at that. "I am not." The Uchiha in question quickly grabs some nails. "He's a formidable ninja, but the idiot will be late to his own funeral and he's a damn pervert."

Shika had never been so thankful for repetitive work before. All she had to do was place the nail, pound it, and repeat the process over and over again. It also gave her a chance to collect her thoughts.

"Those aren't always bad things." She shrugs as she casually pounds a nail. "You might want to actually take notes from him in that department, if you ever want to restore your Clan."

That stuns Sasuke into silence. It was kinda funny to see him gaping like a fish. Though Shika knew that she'd regret that comment later, the prodigy still giggles anyway.

"Just because I don't read that trash in front of Genin, doesn't mean that I need his…help in that area." Sasuke rolls his eyes so hard at that, that Shika was afraid they might never stop rolling for a second. "It's basic biology and only idiots like Naruto would have a hard time figuring it out."

"Well, I'm glad to hear it." She shakes her head. "At the rate you're going though, that idiot might actually beat you to fatherhood."

Why couldn't she keep her mouth shut today? Shika really should know better than to pull a tiger's tail, but she couldn't stop for some reason.

* * *

Jugo looks at Suigetsu as if he had lost his mind. For good reason though. He'd never seen the other former criminal ninja so interested in flowers.

"So Beautiful, which kind of flowers would you recommend giving to someone that you really wanna impress?" He grins at Ino. "You know in a romantic, I want to kiss your face off kinda way."

Kiss your face off sounded painful. Suigetsu wasn't very good at this, Jugo notes. He knew nothing about romance, but even he could tell the violet ninja needed to work on his approach.

Ino just blinks at him. "Well, red roses are traditionally the best choice." Ah. That made sense. "We always remove the thorns, but really it depends on the woman in question."

That's when it dawns on Jugo what Suigetsu was doing. "You're getting Karin flowers!" Oh that was wonderful news. Maybe, the two of them would finally stop bickering all the time.

That would be a relief, Jugo nods as he looks around the flower shop. It was beautiful with so many different kinds of flowers and colors. It was like a rainbow had been amplified or something.

"What?!" Sugietsu looks at the other ninja as if he had grown another head. "I'm not getting Karin flowers! Are you crazy?"

Well, kinda. He did have another personality that tended to go into homicidal rages at random times. Though Jugo liked to think he was mostly sane these days.

"I'm not crazy." He tries his best not to lose his temper. "You know that I can't help it!"

Ino was now watching them as if they had both lost their minds. Maybe, they had. Perhaps, they'd just been in the Sound Village for far too long or something.

The blonde rubs the back of her head sheepishly. "Right." Wonderful. Now, they had made her uncomfortable. "So I'd recommend a dozen red roses and maybe a romantic note."

Right. A romantic note. They could do that, but Jugo still didn't know who they were writing it for.

"Great." Suigetsu hands her the cash. "So um Jugo, you can make the note." His companion smiles at him. "I'm not good at that sort of thing and you know Sasuke better than I do."

Oh no. Jugo didn't like where this was going. He didn't like it one bit. Suigetsu couldn't be serious.

"You want me to write a love note for Sasuke to send to some woman without his permission?" The orange haired ninja couldn't believe this. "That will really upset him."

Suigetsu just grins at him as if this was all perfectly normal. "Jugo, you're Sasuke's shield." Damn right, he was. Sasuke was the living manifestation of Kimimaro's will and Jugo would protect him with his life.

Which was why, he wouldn't get himself involved in this. Jugo didn't want to upset Sasuke. The man who had helped him learn how to control his rages!

"I didn't hear anything." Ino puts up her hands in surrender. "I definitely didn't hear anything."

Suigetsu smirks and nods. "Yeah. That's the spirit." Before turning his attention back to Jugo. "So you're his shield. That means you're shielding his heart too, right?" Well that was a good point. "So don't you want him to find love and stuff?"

Hmm. Jugo had never really thought about it that way. Sasuke did want to restore his Clan and for that to happen, he did need to find a woman to help him. Maybe, the flowers were actually a good idea.

"Alright." He nods at Sugietsu. "I'll do it. Who are we addressing the card to?" That was important information.

Ino sighs and shakes her head. "Where is Karin anyway?" Ah. That was a good question and one that he didn't mind answering.

After all, Karin was a member of Taka. She was their teammate. So it was important to keep track of wherever she might wander off to.

"She's at the hospital and entering the medic training program." Jugo smiles at her.

Suigetsu nods in confirmation. "To Shika." He beams at Jugo as if he was truly convinced of the brilliance of this plan. "The chick that's been helping him rebuild his District. I mean who can argue with red lace?"

 _ **THUD!**_ Jugo blinks as he looks around and notices that Ino had fainted. He didn't understand people sometimes. One minute, they were fine and the next they were fainting.

"I can do that." He looks at the flower girl in concern. "Do you think that we should take her to the hospital?"

Suigetsu pauses for a minute as he checks her vitals and shakes his head. "No. I think she's going to be alright." Oh. That was good. "Ino just fainted. Probably because it's hard to imagine Sasuke actually dating anyone, but whatever. We can totally do this."

Jugo nods as he takes one of the cards and begins writing. Suigetsu was right. Sasuke did want to restore his Clan and it was his job as Sasuke's shield to protect his heart too.

Suigetsu looks over his shoulder and blinks. "Damn, that's really good." Of course, it was. Jugo hadn't had much else to do in that cell other than to brood or read. "Chicks go crazy over that sort of stuff."

"Let's at least put her on a chair or something." It wasn't righto just leave Ino like that. "We'll leave the money here and make sure this gets delivered." Then maybe, Sasuke could get what he always wanted. A family.

His partner in 'crime' nods in agreement as he pulls Ino into a chair and lays out the money. "Alright." Good. "So we paid for the stuff. Let's go. Oh and Jugo, don't tell Karin about any of this."

Did he look insane? Karin was still getting over her feelings for Sasuke and Jugo did not want to be in the middle of a catfight. No thank you.

* * *

Meanwhile back at the Uchiha District, Sasuke honestly couldn't tell. Had Shika actually said that he was good at _**that**_ and on purpose?

"I don't need to take notes from Kakashi." He snorts. "That and you can't seriously believe that Naruto is going to have kids before me?"

The idiot had slept through that class at the Academy. Even if it had been pathetically basic, the important parts had been covered. Really, that's all that was needed.

"I don't know." Shika shrugs casually as if they weren't discussing an extremely important topic. "He's more approachable than you and friendlier. Though you have been making some progress in that department."

Pft. Sasuke couldn't in good conscience deny the friendlier comment. That wasn't his fault though.

"I'd be friendlier, if people would stop pissing me off so much." The raven haired ninja didn't understand extraverts in the slightest.

Shika actually laughs softly at that. "Mhm." How dare she laugh at him? "I'm sure that's it, but anyway you've been getting better. When you're not glaring daggers at me for beating you at Shogi, you're actually capable of carrying on normal conversations."

That had to be the most backhanded compliment that Sasuke had ever seen. The implication was clear. Shika hadn't expected that he would be able to accomplish even that much.

"You should know the difference between lacking the ability to do something and choosing not to do something." Sasuke smirks at her. "You had the ability to stay awake at the Academy, but you chose not to."

If she was going to taunt him, he'd do the same right back to her. Fair was fair. Honestly, the woman had brought it on herself.

It was gratifying to see some light pink stain those cheeks. "True, I guess." She shakes her head. "Have you thought about it though? Like at all?"

Thought about what? The Academy? Once in a blue moon, he did.

"Sometimes." Sasuke pauses for a moment. "The Academy does shape people."

She shakes her head as she counts some nails. "I didn't mean that." The Nara Heiress had completely lost him then. "I meant about your second goal. You don't seem to like anyone in particular, unless you're planning to marry someone from outside the village."

That was a fair point. It was also something of an oversight on Sasuke's part. He'd always wanted a family, but he never really thought all that much about who he wanted it with.

"Haven't decided yet." Sasuke smirks at her. "Though I'm sure that you look good in red lace."

He probably shouldn't have said that. The shadow went flying at him and tied him up before he could blink.

"A ninja really should know better than to taunt another ninja within striking distance." She rolls her eyes. "It seemed that Kakashi taught you more than just the Chidori."

Damn. He'd walked right into that one. "Fine. That might have been over the line." Alright. It had been. "I would blame Suigetsu more for that comment than Kakashi though."

He had been the one to find her unmentionables. Which did look promising. Wait a minute. Why was he thinking about what sort of clothing she wore? It didn't matter.

"Yes, I suppose that's true." She releases him and shakes her head. "What a drag. One has to make sure that they're punishing the actual guilty party. Right?

Yeah. That was true. Though Sasuke certainly wouldn't mind seeing Shika smack the swordsman around a little bit more. That was highly entertaining.

"Right." He sighs as he looks around. "So I guess I still owe you that fish later tonight."

She had won the game again. As much as hit hurt his pride to admit it, Shika was just better at Shogi for the moment. That wouldn't last for long though.

Sasuke had a few tricks up his sleeve. Like the Sharingan. If he played enough games with her, he could memorize her moves and then he'd just adapt them in a manner, she'd never see coming.

"That's right." She grins at him. "It still surprises me that you can cook, but you were probably smart to learn."

He kinda had to. Gods and Goddesses only knew what Orochimaru had done to the Sound's food.

"Yeah." He shrugs and smirks at her. "It was a bit of a drag, but it's a useful skill to have. Oh and don't try to pretend you can't cook." She had that one night. "You can. You're just too lazy to do it most of the time."

Shika twitches at that. "Do you want me to tie you up in shadows again?" It was kinda funny to see the laziest ninja alive get angry like an annoyed housecat or something.

Sasuke just smirks as he walks back inside the house. That would of course, infuriate her more. Which meant even more entertainment for him.

"It's never really been my thing, but I'm trembling with excitement." Sasuke laughs softly as Shika chases him back into the house.

Alright. He might be pushing his luck there, but it was fun. How long had it been since he'd had fun? Awhile. Well at least before Shika was assigned to 'babysit' him. In hindsight, Kakashi had chosen well. Not that Sasuke would ever tell him that.


	4. Chapter 4

You Can't Plan Love

 **Author's Note:** Thanks for the reviews. I really do appreciate all the support this unconventional pairing is getting. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter.

Chapter 4

The next day, Sasuke knew that something had changed. Shika had been acting weird all morning. Not that she ever acted 'normal' exactly, but still.

"You should just ask her." Aoda smiles at him.

That was easy for a snake to say and yes, Sasuke was having his Summon help him with reconstruction efforts. Aoda was strong and he wanted to help. So why not let him?

Sasuke sighs and shakes his head. "I don't know how to ask her about that." Truth be told, he didn't know the Nara Heiress that well.

Sure, they had been essentially living together for a couple weeks. That didn't mean too much though. The dark beauty was far too intelligent to let anything too important slip.

"Well, I find that the simplest approach is best when dealing with females." Uh huh. "If you just ask her what's wrong, she'll likely tell you. Your female strikes me as an honest sort."

His female? He didn't own Shika. Shika wasn't even his lover.

So Sasuke raises an eyebrow at that. "She's not mine." Hell, Sasuke wasn't even really sure if Shika considered him to be her friend or not.

Aoda was a snake though. Obviously, he wasn't used to the complicated mess that was human relationships. To the giant reptile, they must have all seemed insane.

"You share your territory with her." His Summon gives Sasuke a look of disbelief as if that settled the matter.

It probably did, for most animals. They weren't animals though. He and Shika were both humans and humans didn't own each other just because they lived together!

The Uchiha snorts as he hammers some nails. "Yes, but that's because Kakashi assigned her to babysit me." It wasn't because she was a lover who had decided to move in.

"You cook for each other." Aoda shakes his head again. "If you weren't Mates or in the courtship process, why would you waste your food on her?"

Again, that probably made sense from a purely animalistic perspective. That wasn't how things worked with people though.

Nothing was ever that simple. "Because she has to be here and I don't want her to starve to death." It would be a drag, as Shika said.

"Master Sasuke, I care about you a great deal." Uh huh. "Which is why I believe it is time that I explain a few things to you about females."

Oh for the love of tomatoes, Aoda couldn't possibly be serious. Did his Summon actually think that Sasuke needed him to explain about Kunais and Pouches?!

"Aoda, I already know that!" Sasuke tries his best not to scream at the serpent in frustration. "I'm not that naïve."

The snake actually smiles at him in response. "Good." He nods at Sasuke. "I don't really smell any rivals on her and you're both of age." Sasuke didn't like where this was going. "So I'm at a loss for what you're waiting for. From what I understand, humans can breed year round."

Sasuke groans. Why him? Why did this sort of thing always happen to him?

"Aoda, it's not that simple." Sasuke smacks his forehead. "Besides, I highly doubt that she actually wants to breed with me."

Shika would likely never consider it. She was too smart to really get involved with him. It was one thing to hang around his District because Kakashi ordered it. It would be another to actually become his wife.

The Summon shakes his head as he 'pats' Sasuke on the head with his own. "Humans just have really weak noses." What?! "She's receptive to you. Cautious, but receptive."

Great. Now, Aoda was _sniffing_ Shika to see if she was interested. That was both touching and disturbing.

"That's nice of you to say, Aoda." Sasuke snorts at the snake. "But just because you think you smell something doesn't mean it's actually there or you could just be misinterpreting the scent."

Yes, that would have to do it. It was best to keep things as simple as possible for the lovable Summon. Aoda meant well. He just lacked any sense of tact.

"There is no misinterpreting the scent of desire." He gives Sasuke a dirty look. "How do you think my species has survived so long?"

Sasuke really didn't want to go into the evolution of Summons. Anyway, he needed to change the topic and quickly.

"Aoda, we've got work to do." The raven haired man shakes his head. "If you really want me to find a Mate, my territory needs to be in excellent condition."

Magic. It was like magic really. Apparently, that was all that he really needed to say to get the snake going.

"Yes, Master Sasuke." Aoda begins moving more materials. "Remember, a hot clutch usually yields more male hatchlings and a cool clutch usually yields more females."

Gods and Goddesses, what had gotten into the serpent? If Sasuke really wanted to seduce someone, he would have already done it by now. He just had to get a few things sorted out before he could start with making Hatchlings first.

Whatever. "Good to know." For now, he'd humor Aoda.

Besides, he still had to figure out what was wrong with Shika. She had been so blushy this morning and yes, Sasuke knew that wasn't a real word. It was now though.

* * *

On the other side of the village, Suigetsu winces. Karin was scary as Hell when she was mad. Her lung capacity was amazing.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TWO IDIOTS!" The banshee shrieks.

Damn. He really needed to gag her or something because this was just not normal. How was it possible to be that loud?

Jugo winces as well. "It seemed like a good idea at the time." Great. Now, the friendly giant was going to rat him out. This was so not cool.

"What on Earth made you think that forging a love note was a good idea?!" Karin's hands were now on her hips.

They were nice hips. She might be pretty flat, but the woman had great legs and the hips were impressive. If only she would stop screaming so damn much, then she might be OK to be around.

He'd have to stand his ground though. "He needs someone to remove that stick stuck up his butt!" Suigetsu smiles at her, hoping that would pacify the vengeful woman. "That and he's always going on about how he wants to restore his Clan."

Sasuke was pretty easy to understand at the end of the day. He'd only had two goals and only one of them was left. So this was simple math. Really, really simple math.

"Well, let him choose who it is." She rolls her eyes at them as if they were both idiots. "What do you think he's going to do to the two of you when he realizes what happened?"

Suigetsu gulps a bit at that. Karin might be right. Sassy was going to be pissed, but hopefully less so if it worked.

"You worry too much." He tries to force himself to sound brave. "He'll be so happy about having a girlfriend, that he'll thank us."

Jugo sighs as smacks his forehead in frustration. "We're doomed." Well, with that attitude they certainly were.

What was the matter with his partner in crime? Hadn't Jugo ever heard of the expression, 'Fake it until you make it.'?

"Ino wouldn't tell me who the flowers were for." Karin was spitting bullets. "So what's going on? Who are you trying to set Sasuke up with?"

Hmm. To tell her or not to tell her? Suigetsu wasn't really sure which would work out worse for him in the end.

So he just shrugs and hopes for the best. "Doesn't matter." There. Maybe, she'd leave him alone now.

"OF COURSE, IT MATTERS!" That didn't work out so well.

Luckily, Jugo stands between him and Karin. Otherwise, the red head might have actually succeeded in smacking him. Which was clearly, what she had been trying to do.

"There's no need to fight." He smiles at them. "I'm sure that everything will work out in the end."

Suigetsu rolls his eyes. Jugo could be unexpectedly mushy at times. How that was possible given how long the other man had lived in the Sound Village was utterly beyond his understanding, but whatever.

Karin looks at Jugo as if he had truly lost his mind. "You can't just set Sasuke up with just anyone." Oh yeah. The red head was still obsessed with a certain Uchiha.

"We didn't set him up with just anyone." Jugo smiles at her. "We've written a note and sent flowers on his behalf to the one woman in his village, he seems to tolerate other than you."

That was a nice save. Though Suigetsu knew what was coming. They both did.

"If he tolerates me, why wouldn't you just set him up with me?" Karin flails at them. "That doesn't make any sense. I'm his teammate."

Suigetsu rolls his eyes at her as if that should be the most obvious thing in the world. "Because Sasuke has freakishly good hearing." Probably brought on by his supreme paranoia that had been honed to perfection from living in the Sound Village, actually. "So dating a banshee is out of the question."

That was probably the wrong thing to say. Suigetsu really did need to invest in earplugs because Karin was now completely losing it.

"I'M NOT A BANSHEE!" Suigetsu would beg to differ on that.

Jugo sighs and shakes his head. "To answer your question though, Shika." It was nice of the guy, really. The gentle giant was trying to save him from Karin's wrath.

Karin suddenly stops her homicidal rage. It was quite the impressive and stunning transformation. One moment, she was ready to beat people black and blue and the next, she was contemplative.

"That might work." She sighs and shakes her head. "I mean I wish it was me, but they've been basically living together for a while and haven't killed each other."

Suigetsu nods his head vigorously at that. "That's right." He grins at the banshee. "So that's gotta be a sign of true love or something like that!"

Karin rolls his eyes at him. Whatever. She knew he was right. That's why the red head wasn't arguing about his logic.

"I guess that's one way to look at it." Karin crosses her arms and shakes her head. "That or at the very least, it's a good sign." She glances at Jugo. "So what did the note say exactly?"

Jugo smiles serenely. "Well, I tried my best to make it romantic, but still Sasuke-like." Uh huh. That was quite the challenge. "I think she'll be pleased with it."

* * *

Back in the Uchiha District, Shika shakes her head as she sets about making lunch. It was such a drag. Cooking was annoying, but it gave her a good excuse to avoid Sasuke.

"Alright." She sighs as she sets the table. "I just have to think about this logically."

She was a genius. Thinking logically was kinda her thing. Which is why Shika was currently avoiding Sasuke.

She needed to come up with some kind of strategy for all this. It was just the lazy ninja had never expected Sasuke Uchiha of all people to fall for her. It didn't make any sense.

"Well, they do say opposites attract." She shakes her head as she glances at the note for what seemed like the thousandth time that day. "So if that's accurate, it makes sense in a really twisted way."

After all, she was lazy and smart. Shika wouldn't fight unless she had no other choice and Sasuke decidedly wasn't wired that way. He was driven, broody, and aggressive.

"Smart though." She looks towards the note. "I'll give him that much." He just let himself be led around by his emotions too much, but no one could deny he was a prodigy for more reasons than just his chakra reserves and the strength of his punches.

Maybe, that was why she kept looking at it. It was flattering in a way. Out of all the girls that had thrown themselves at him back in the Academy, Sasuke wanted her.

 _ **Dear Shika,**_

 _ **I know that this is going to seem sudden and foolish. You're someone who always thinks through every decision you make, but that doesn't make my feelings any less real.**_

 _ **I've grown used to you being here. It wasn't love at first sight. I was and still am coming out of the darkness, so I couldn't see as clearly as I do now.**_

 _ **I love you because you're the only person I can have a real conversation with. You're probably the only person I know who is smarter than me. You make me feel calm. Normal. That's something I haven't had in awhile.**_

 _ **I love you because I can count on you. I love you because you're brave enough to stay with me, when most people would run away screaming. I also love the fact you wear red lace.**_

 _ **So I got you matching flowers. I know that I don't have any right to expect you to give me a chance considering my past. It's a real drag as you say, but I have to try anyway.**_

 _ **Sasuke.**_

It was oddly practical and yet, romantic at the same time. Shika couldn't remember reading about a note like that before.

"I have no idea what I'm going to say to him." She sighs to herself.

Naturally, that's the moment when she hears the door to the house open and gulps. This might not end well. She had to think quickly!

* * *

Sasuke sighs as he enters the house and strides towards the kitchen. Aoda was right. Shika was an honest woman. She'd tell him, if he asked what was wrong.

"Shika?" The raven haired ninja enters his kitchen. "Are you alright? You've been acting a little off today." His kitchen that had red roses inside it.

That was new. If it was anyone else, they probably would have just assumed that Shika had gotten them. Women tended to enjoy decorating houses and such, but Sauske wasn't anyone else and he knew Shika.

Shika wasn't the kind of woman who would buy red roses on a whim. Nor would she address a card to herself.

"What's with the card?" He raises an eyebrow.

Something strange was going on here and Sasuke was going to get to the bottom of it. Right now.

Shika actually blushes. "You should know what's with the card." Huh? "You're the one that wrote it."

"I haven't written any card." Sasuke shakes his head as he reaches for it. "I don't know what you're talking about. Someone is clearly messing with you."

The card was nice. It was clearly intended to be a romantic one with the red rose background and wavy white letters done in his handwriting style, but he hadn't wrote it.

"That explains it then." He blinks. "Someone forged my handwriting and gave you a card." Sasuke glances at the roses. "They also must have gotten the flowers."

He didn't understand why though. Who would have a motive to make Shika think that he was in love with her? Who would know his mannerisms well enough to pull it off convincingly?

Shika stares at him and covers her mouth in horror. "So it wasn't from you then." No. It wasn't. "I'm such an idiot."

Sasuke rolls his eyes at that. "You're many things, Shika." They both knew she wasn't that. "You're no one's fool though. This handwriting is so convincing that if I didn't know better, I would say I wrote it and they've certainly got my writing style down."

Had he actually tried to write a love note for her, it likely would have been similar to the one on the card. Though Sasuke still had to find out who was behind this and why.

"I see." She bites her lower lip. "Well, whoever did this did an excellent job." She had thought it was real. "I w-was completely fooled."

Shika was stuttering. That wasn't a good sign. Whoever was behind this had really thrown her for a loop.

He knew that he shouldn't ask, but Sasuke would anyway. "When you thought it was real, how did you feel?" It was hard to gauge her reaction.

Almost impossible really. She could just be upset that someone was messing with them or upset that it wasn't really from him.

They had been growing closer over the past few weeks, but was that enough of a reason for her to be really upset? Maybe, her pride was just hurt. It was hard to find out you had a secret admirer who wasn't real.

"That doesn't matter." She shakes her head. "What matters is we have someone who knows your behavioral patterns will enough to pretend to be you and for some reason, they wanted to meddle in your love life."

Sasuke feels one of his eyes bleed red and the Rinnegan flash. "Of course, it matters!" Damn it. His emotions. They'd always been his Achilles' Heel.

He needed to get it together and get it together fast. Before he said or did something stupid. Itachi must be laughing at him from beyond the grave right about now.

"It doesn't!" Shika was half yelling at him now. "Now, who do we know who would be able to copy your handwriting? It would have to be someone close to you or with access to your writing at the very least."

Someone close to him? "Well, it damn sure isn't Naruto." The idiot couldn't have forged his writing like that. "I highly doubt it's Sakura or Karin." They both had feelings for him at once point. This didn't make any sense. "Suigetsu is too stupid to pull something like that off."

Sasuke frowns as he mentally ticks off the various people that might have done this. He didn't get why they had done this, but he knew without a doubt whoever was behind this definitely wasn't a stranger.

"Alright." She nods at him. "Well, if it wasn't Suigetsu, Sakura, or Karin, who do you think it was?"

One possibility was springing to mind. "Kakashi seems the most likely." He could certainly forge a signature and he had read far too many romantic novels. "He likes to meddle and he's clever enough to do this." Would he though?

Shika frowns at that as she blinks a bit too quickly for it to be normal. Out of the corner of his eye, Sasuke noticed something wet slide down her cheek. It was only one, but he couldn't have imagined it.

"Then we should go and talk to Kakashi." She shakes her head quickly. "It's a drag, but he can't play with people like this." It was a tear. "I don't care if he is Hokage, this just isn't right."

It didn't seem like Kakashi's style to be honest. Sure, he could have carried out a plan like this. To what end though?

"Alright." Sasuke nods as he heads off with her towards Kakashi's office. "Let's go and figure out what the hell is going on." That bastard was going to pay for making Shika cry.


	5. Chapter 5

You Can't Plan Love

 **Author's Note:** Thanks for the reviews. If you have any suggestions or requests for this story, please let me know. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter.

Chapter 5

One moment, Kakashi was just half-hardheartedly going through some paperwork and half reading a novel by Jiraiya. The next, he was dodging a fireball.

"Fireball Jutsu!" Sasuke hadn't even bothered to knock either.

His former student had just kicked open the door and Shika had followed him. Well, at least they were working together now. That was a plus.

Of course, he knew enough to dodge. "Sasuke, is there a reason why you're throwing fireballs at me?" Again, he wanted to say.

Sasuke hadn't really done that to him since he was a Genin. For him to revert back to such a traditional and 'basic' attack could only mean one thing. Sasuke was one angry Uchiha.

"I don't give a damn, if you're Hokage." Uh huh. "That doesn't give you a right to play with people's lives!" Well, actually that's part of what being a Hokage meant. You decided who went on what mission.

There were cases when it was up to him essentially to decide who lived and died for all practical purposes. Sasuke had to know what. Though Kakashi suspected that wasn't what the raven haired ninja was talking about.

Kakashi sets down his book and shakes his head. "I'm afraid that you're going to have to be more specific." It was such a shame, really. "Why are you so angry?" He was just getting to the good part.

Uchihas were naturally hotheads to begin with, but this was ridiculous. They didn't just fly off the handle unprovoked. Whether one agreed with Sasuke's actions in the past or not, he had always had a _reason_ for doing them.

"Someone sent me flowers with a card." Shika crosses her arms.

Kakashi tilts his head at that. "That's nice?" He failed to see why that would upset Sasuke to this extent though. "What does that have to do with me?"

They were hotheads and they were also a very territorial Clan. Kakashi was old enough to recall an incident when someone had made some sort of drunken advance towards Fugaku.

Mikoto certainly hadn't responded well to that. Good thing that bar had fire insurance. It was always the quiet ones.

"Because you're the one who forged my handwriting and signed the card with my name!" Sasuke looks ready to throw another fireball or even a Chidori at him. "What the hell makes you think that you have the right to do that?!"

Oh. Hmm. That was actually quite the interesting idea.

Sadly, it wasn't Kakashi's. "Nothing gives me the right to do that." He wasn't about to be Chidoried for something that he didn't even do. "Which is why, I wasn't the one who forged your signature."

Was it because Sasuke cared that Shika was upset or the principle of the thing, Kakashi wonders. It was hard to say really. Both were valid reasons for getting upset.

"He's telling the truth." Shika sighs and shakes her head. "Whenever Kakashi is nervous, he rubs the back of his head."

Was he really that transparent? The Hokage would certainly have to work on that.

Sasuke glances at the Nara woman. "Well, he's not rubbing the back of his head." Damn right. "So he's either not lying or he's not nervous about lying."

Well, that was progress. Still, they really did have to get to the bottom of this. Kakashi couldn't just have people pretending to be Sasuke and sending love letters to people!

"He's your Sensei." The lazy prodigy raises an eyebrow. "You should be able to tell when he's lying or not."

That was a very good point. Unfortunately, Kakashi knew exactly what Sasuke was about to say.

The Uchiha shrugs. "I wasn't with him for that long before I left for the Sound Village." That wasn't entirely fair. "He did that stupid bell test, trained us for a bit, we went to the Land of Waves, and he trained me before the Chunin Exams."

Hey! That was lots of time together, especially that last part.

"That's quite a long list for you to say you don't know me well enough." Kakashi rolls his eyes.

Sasuke glares at him and crosses his arms. "Well, you basically told us nothing when you introduced yourself and you were always wearing a mask." What was wrong with wearing a mask? "You didn't exactly share much about yourself and you always had your head buried in trashy romance novels!"

Alright. He couldn't argue with most of those points. Though Kakashi did take issue with the last part.

"They are not trashy!" Honestly, Sasuke really needed to expand his reading habits. "They're romantic."

Shika snorts at the pair of them. "They're both actually." Ah ha! Finally, someone who appreciated good literature. Wait. She had said both.

"Not you too." Kakashi sighs in disbelief.

People in this village should really expand their horizons. It was a wonder that anyone ever managed to have children in this village. Everyone was so damn bashful.

Sasuke scowls at him. "Your reading habits aren't the point." That was true. "Someone forged my signature and knows me well enough to make a note that sounds like me."

Yes, that was concerning to say the least. Chaos would erupt, if this idiot kept sending unsuspecting women love letters from Sasuke Uchiha!

"Well, I suppose that I should at least look at the note." He smiles at them.

They both blush instantly. Well, that was promising. The note would obviously make for fascinating reading material, if they were both so embarrassed.

Shika shakes her head quickly. "I don't think that's necessary to figure out who is behind this." Oh really? "The number of people who would know how to impersonate Sasuke convincingly is rather limited to begin with."

"Oh I think it's necessary." He tries his best not to smirk at them. "One never knows what sort of clue might be hidden in that sort of note."

Sasuke looks as though he wanted to hit him, but he shoves the note in Kakashi's hand. He says nothing else for a time and looks away.

It didn't take the silver haired ninja long to find out why. "Well, I have to say that this is quite the note." He fails to swallow a chuckle. "Is this really something that you would have written, Sasuke? If you were inclined to write such a thing?"

If looks could kill, Kakashi knew without a doubt that he'd already be dead. The last Uchiha looks at him in a positively murderous way.

"Yes." Sasuke's chakra flares slightly.

Another fireball wasn't unlikely. So Kakashi wisely decides not to push his luck further.

"Well, it wasn't me." It was a great idea though. "I think we can safely rule out Naruto. This simply isn't his style." The blonde might have tried to do it, but he wouldn't have been this convincing.

Shika paces slightly. "That's true and Sakura seems unlikely for obvious reasons." Sasuke snorts at that. "I would guess Taka, but Suigetsu couldn't pull of a letter like that and Karin seems almost as unlikely as Sakura."

Realization dawns in Sasuke's eyes. "Suigetsu would think of a stupid idea like this, but he wouldn't be able to write." He knew then. "Jugo might be able to though and Suigetsu might have convinced Jugo that doing this would help me."

Now, they were getting somewhere. Poor Jugo. Hopefully, he wouldn't get Chidoried along with Suigetsu.

"They were just trying to play matchmaker." Shika sighs in relief. "At least it wasn't more malicious."

Sasuke pauses for a moment and then nods. "That's true, but I'm going to kill Suigetsu." Kakashi couldn't exactly allow that to happen though.

Foolish or not, Suigetsu had been trying to help in his own way. Besides, he had a powerful bloodline and his swordsman skills were useful to the village.

"I'm afraid that I can't let you actually kill him." Kakashi winks at Sasuke playfully. "If you want to beat him up though, I'll look the other way as long as the injuries aren't too serious."

Sasuke just smirks at that as he leads Shika off. Kakashi notes that the Nara woman didn't protest the manhandling. A love letter and roses, genius.

"Well, I guess I can get back to my book while I wait for this all to play out." The Hokage chuckles as he does exactly that.

* * *

A few minutes later, Shika decides it was best to just sit back and let Sasuke take care of this one. Besides, there wasn't really much she could do to stop an Uchiha Temper Tantrum.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't Chidori your nuts off, Suigetsu?" Sasuke hisses at him.

She could use her shadow techniques on Sasuke, but eventually she'd run out of chakra. That would just give him more time to brood really and a brooding Uchiha was never a good thing.

Suigetsu gulps and backs up slowly. "What are you talking about?" The man was digging his own grave.

Jugo sighs and shakes his head. "It's better just to confess." He smiles at them, albeit in a nervous fashion. "Suigetsu and I noticed how well the two of you were going on and as Sasuke's shield, it is my duty to shield Sasuke's heart in addition to his body."

That was strangely sweet. Hopefully, the furious raven haired ninja would see it that way though. Jugo was much too nice to be castrated by lightning.

"Jugo, I know you were trying to help." Sasuke rolls his eyes. "Though don't listen to Suigetsu. He's an idiot."

Suigetsu looks ready to protest that, but he thought better of it. Clearly, Sasuke's barbaric threats were effective.

"Understood." He smiles at them. "Did you like them at least?"

Shika rubs the back of her head. "The roses were very nice." Wonderful. She was picking up Kakashi's nervous habits.

She was pretty sure that wasn't exactly what the gentle giant meant. That wouldn't stop her from trying though.

"Well, I meant the note." The tallest member of Taka smiles at her.

Shika feels her face burn with embarrassment. "It was very nice." She glances at Sasuke. "We should probably head back. We still have a lot of work left to do on the District."

Sasuke hesitates for a moment. It was likely that he was planning to terrorize his teammates so more, but he thinks better of it.

"Alright." He shakes his head. "Jugo, seriously don't listen to him." He glares at Sugietsu one last time before taking Shika's hand. "And the next time you get a clever plan to help me, don't."

Her blush probably wasn't going to go away anytime soon, but Shika lets him led them off again. Sasuke was good at that and it would be such a drag to yell at him over something as minor as being bossy.

"Whatever." Suigetsu shrugs. "You wouldn't have gotten this upset, if it hadn't struck some kind of nerve."

Sasuke glowers at Suigetsu before fully dragging them off. Oh boy. It was going to be a long day. Sasuke was going to brood.

* * *

The Sun was going down by the time, Sasuke had finally calmed down. It probably helped that they had reconstructed several buildings.

"I'm glad that you're using sublimation instead of destruction now." Shika cautiously smiles at him. "It's a much healthier defense mechanism."

Pft. Shika really should have gone into counseling. The woman rarely got ruffled by anything and she apparently used words like sublimation normally.

Sasuke shrugs. "I've channeled my rage into destruction for most of my life." It hadn't gotten him very far. "I got physically stronger, but it didn't make things better. So I figured I'd try something new."

Besides beating up Suigetsu. That was as much for recreational purposes as it was for educational ones.

"That's good." Shika nods at him. "I like that you actually knew what that word meant without me having to explain it."

She was trying to make small talk. "That's because I'm not an idiot." Though he had done some extremely foolish things. "There's a difference between being reckless an idiot. If you're being reckless, you at least in theory know better."

Shika nods at that as she nibbles on her rice ball. He'd never noticed it before, but the woman had surprisingly full lips and a nice curve to her hips. Both of which would go excellent with that red lacy number.

"I'm glad that you learned the difference." She sighs softly. "This is a drag, but we should at least talk about it."

Damn it. So much for small talk. There wasn't really any way around it.

It was like having an elephant in the room. One couldn't not talk about it, but that didn't mean he wanted to. It was too confusing.

"I suppose you're right." When had he turned into his father? "In their own way, they were trying to help. I'm sorry that they hurt you though."

She raises an eyebrow. "What makes you think they hurt me?" Shika couldn't be serious. He had seen that tear.

That memory was now branded into his mind. It was his fault in a way. His teammates wouldn't have sent her those flowers or that damn letter, if he wasn't so closed off emotionally.

"You cried." Sasuke looks at her directly in the eyes.

He wasn't going to let her get around this. Shika had put him on the spot and he'd return the favor. It was a childish impulse to be certain, but it was also one that he couldn't ignore. No matter how hard he tried.

Shika flinches. "You saw that?" Of course, he saw that.

"Yes." There was no point in denying it. "I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to do that over me." He wasn't good at this. "I know why it happened. You're used to being ignored because you try your best to be ignored." Maybe in some twisted way, fate was laughing at him. "So when someone noticed you, you were happy. Even if it was me."

He had tried so hard to bond with his father. Fugaku Uchiha had barely acknowledged Sasuke in person. They really were more alike than different. Neither of them knew how to express themselves well off of the battlefield.

Shika snorts at that. "That's surprisingly accurate for someone who has only recently begun to master the art of introspection." Touché. "Though you're wrong about the last part. You being you isn't a negative to me."

"What do you mean?" He looks at her in confusion. "I'm the one who would have destroyed the Leaf Village and if I had come back sooner, things might not have spiraled as badly as they did."

There was so much blood on his hands. Directly and indirectly. Shika was smart enough to see that.

She shakes her head and walks over to him. "You came back eventually." Well, yeah. "That's what matters most. You're not like me." Accurate. "I've only ever wanted an average life. As misguided as some of the things you did were, you weren't just trying to get by. From your perspective, you were doing what needed to be done and shockingly enough you can be decent company when you want to be."

That was a backhanded compliment. Maybe she had a point though. On second thought, of course, she did.

"I guess there is a reason why they call you a genius." He smiles at her. "So how did you feel when you thought the note was from me specifically?"

She pauses for a moment and in those precious seconds, Sasuke felt his heart begin to sink. "At first, I panicked." So this was what romantic rejection felt like. "It's complicated for so many reasons, but then I was happy and then I realized it wasn't from you."

It hadn't been a good feeling, but at least it was only fleeting. It took a second for Sasuke to fully process Shika's words. Though it took him only a fraction of the time to act on them.

"I can work with complicated." He wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her closer. "As long as it's not impossible." This was a risk, but there was something there. So he kisses her.


	6. Chapter 6

You Can't Plan Love

 **Author's Note:** Thanks for the reviews. Sorry that this one took so long to update. Between real life and technical glitches on the site, I'm really behind on everything. For those interested though, feel free to check out my profile for information about update rates.

 **Chapter Notation:** It would have been a little too easy to have them get together this early on, but don't worry. There will be a happy ending. **Oh and in this story, a certain someone didn't die.** Yes, that's a pretty radical departure from canon, but I'm sure that most people will be pleased to see him 'brought back.' Happy reading.

Chapter 6

 _He was kissing her!_ Sasuke was really kissing her and for a moment, the lazy genius allows herself the privilege of acting on instinct. It was there for a reason.

"You taste like pineapples." His words barely register in her mind at first.

It was hard to focus on much else besides the feeling of his lips against her own. Even when he was speaking to her, Sasuke's mouth had a way of moving against hers that was half mesmerizing.

So yeah, his comment almost escapes her notice. "Do you like pineapples?" Almost.

As soon as those words left her mouth, Shika instantly regrets them. They said there was no such thing as a dumb question, but 'they' were obviously wrong.

"I've never really thought about it before, but I do now." Sasuke does that thing again as he pulls her closer. "A lot." That gesture that was some strangely erotic hybridization between a smile and a smirk.

That was precisely what he was doing and in some ways it was even more 'lethal' than a Chidori. "I'm surprised you don't taste like tomatoes." It certainly was doing strange things to her stomach. Shika couldn't help, but feel like a colony of butterflies had taken up residence there.

Honestly, what was wrong with her? The tomato thing was so stupid and she was supposed to be a genius!

"Well, what do I taste like?" Sasuke snorts in amusement. "Please tell me that it's not ramen."

He had stopped kissing her for the moment. Shika could still end this before it spiraled out of control.

Maybe, honesty was the best policy here. "Temptation." More specifically, melted dark chocolate. "We really shouldn't do this though." Sasuke didn't need to know that last part though.

"You're worried what others will think." Sasuke frowns. "That or that I'll leave the village again."

She shakes her head quickly at that. Shika would be lying, if she denied thinking that at the beginning. That wasn't true anymore though.

Things had changed. "No." She sighs heavily and tries her best to brace herself for the inevitable. "It's a drag, but you're still healing from everything."

It wouldn't be right. This could just be a security thing. She was smart enough to see that.

Sasuke in theory was. Shika just wasn't sure about practically, but apparently they were going to find out.

"So you think it's a bad idea for me to develop a romantic attachment while I'm healing." Sasuke raises an eyebrow. "You want me to reintegrate into the village, but you're going to do that by pushing me away for my own good."

When he said it like that, it made no sense. Though Shika knew better than to fall for such arguments.

She sighs and bites her lower lip. "I think you're probably just latching onto the first source of comfort you see." Understandably, of course. "Let's face it, I'm not exactly your type."

"I know that you're supposed to be a genius, but should I be the one to decide that?" Sasuke quirks an eyebrow.

Well, he did have a point there. Still, this was Sasuke Uchiha. She was just the lazy kid in the class who happened to know all the answers to all the tests.

She should really remind him off that. "You know exactly what I mean." Before this spiraled out of control.

As far as she could tell, Sasuke only really had two modes. On or Off. So if things went south, he might never recover from such a thing.

"To be honest, I never really thought about such things." Sasuke half smirks at her. "I was always too busy trying to kill Itachi to care about dating."

So that's what this way. "I might be lazy, but I don't scare that easily." Shika dares herself to look him in the eye. "If you expect me to bolt because you killed your brother for killing your Clan, that's not going to happen. Besides, Kakashi told me what really happened."

Sasuke actually flinches slightly. Well, that was good. If she could make him uncomfortable without enraging him, he wouldn't pursue her anymore. Sadly, that was a fine line to walk.

"Itachi was right." He shakes his head. "I was always foolish. I shouldn't have believe that my brother would turn into a monster overnight and for no reason." The guilt was there. "Though he did manage to teach me at least one valuable lesson."

It was a living, breathing entity. Shika could feel it in the very air they were breathing now. She could see it in his eyes. In the way that he moved. All of it.

She probably shouldn't ask and she knew that, but curiosity was a powerful force. "What was that?" One that not even people like herself could entirely resist.

"To follow my instincts." Sasuke smirks again and kisses her forehead. "It's strange. We couldn't be more different, but I think that we balance ach other." He pauses for a moment. "Like my parents did."

* * *

Aoda was rather amused. He hadn't expected Kakashi to wish to speak with him, but the giant serpent certainly didn't mind.

"You are Master Sasuke's instructor." He waves his body back and forth happily. "That makes you trustworthy as you are not like Orochimaru."

Kakashi rubs the back of his head sheepishly at that. "That's high praise indeed." Well, that was likely why he was 'Hokage.' The man was very good at dealing with weird situations.

Aoda had to give him that much. What was a little less clear was what precisely Kakashi was hoping to accomplish by speaking with him.

"As much as I would like to believe that you merely wished to enjoy the pleasure of giving me treats and belly rubs, I know better." His tongue flicks outwards to taste the air. "Humans usually don't like snakes. Master Sasuke is an exception."

He couldn't detect any real fear from Kakashi. He was perhaps a bit nervous, but that wasn't because of Aoda. That was because he was worried about Master Sasuke.

Kakashi shakes his head in amusement. "Your kind to get an unfairly bad rap at times." Hmm. Aoda had a very distinct impression that this human was attempting to butter him up.

"I like you well enough." He shakes his head quickly. "Though I won't do anything to upset Master Sasuke."

Which could only mean one thing. Kakashi definitely wanted something. Aoda just had to figure out what that was and the best way to proceed forward.

The silver haired man laughs. "No, it won't upset Sasuke." His body language and scent was still slightly nervous though. "Well alright. Perhaps it will in the beginning." A bad sign. "Though in the long-run, he will be much happier. Isn't that what you want for your Master?"

Well, of course that's what's what he wanted. Aoda wasn't Manda. He was a good Summon.

"What did you have in mind?" He looks the Hokage up and down for any sign of treachery. "Because Master Sasuke has quite the temper when people try to manipulate him."

Kakashi looks understandably wary at that warning. Good. He should be nervous. Master Sasuke came from a Clan that loved to play with fire.

"Yes, I'm aware of that." Kakashi smiles at him. "I merely want you to monitor the situation and help me, nudge Shika and Sasuke into Mating."

Ah. Hmm. Whatever he had been expecting, that wasn't it. Sasuke did need a Mate though. He was always going on about how he wanted to restore his Clan.

"I will assist you." Aoda smiles. "It is the least I can do for Master Sasuke. She seems like a good female."

His comment causes the Hokage to chuckle. Aoda didn't see why. Why were humans were amused by the most obvious statements was a mystery to him, really.

Oh well. Humans were just strange. There was simply no getting around that.

* * *

Meanwhile Sasuke was at something of a loss as to how to proceed. That was a feeling he liked. For most of his life, in one form or another he had some kind of plan. Vague or not.

"I'm not Naruto." He shakes his head. "I know when to back off, but I think I know you well enough now to know that you'll change your mind."

Shika wouldn't have kissed back, if she didn't feel the same on some level. It would be too much of a dragon to have to explain why she had done so later, if that wasn't the case.

"Good." Shika nods at him as she glances at the door. "I should probably go for now. We can sleep on this."

A diplomatic answer. "I can see why they had you in charge of so much during the way." He rolls his eyes playfully at her. "You're very good at stalling for time." Something that the Ninja Nations' leaders did love to do.

Had someone been quicker to act, maybe things wouldn't have spiraled out of control the way they had. Then again, perhaps not. Certainly, Tobirama had acted swiftly and look where that had gotten him.

"Thanks." She shrugs in a way that reminded him of a cornered swan. "It's what I do. That doesn't make me wrong though."

Sasuke nods at her. "I'll see you tomorrow then." He knew it was important not to phrase that as a question.

If he did, she'd bolt. He hadn't known her particularly well in the Academy, but Sasuke knew her now. Shika's nature was to avoid confrontation, if given half a chance.

"Yeah." She nods as she makes her way towards the door. "I still have a mission, after all."

Wasn't that what she had done in the Chunin Exams? "You haven't changed at all." He snorts with mirth. "You're exactly the same as when you surrendered to Temari, even though you were winning."

Shika glares at him for that comment. The woman likely thought that she was being insulted, but nothing could be further from the truth.

"I was running low on chakra." She hisses at him. "Some of us don't have a death wish."

Sasuke smirks at her. "I know." She was getting closer to the door now, he needed to say something before she left. "You're smarter about that sort of thing than I am. Knowing when to stop, but I know when to start."

Shika bites her lower lip at that. She knew exactly what he was saying. It was written all over her face.

She was too smart to admit that though. "I'll see you tomorrow." Which was probably why she bolts out the door almost faster than Sasuke can blink.

"She doesn't give herself enough credit." Sasuke raises an eyebrow. "With speed like that, she could easily win a lot more fights than she has in the past."

Motivation was a powerful force. Speaking of which, Sasuke probably should employ at least some strategy in this endeavor.

He was dealing with Shika. Who was a genius. Naturally, Sasuke knew exactly what he had to do. He had to bring another genius into the equation.

"It takes one to know one." He smirks as he grabs a scroll and begins writing.

This was a gamble, but honestly he didn't have anything to lose. The worst that Neji could do is say no and spread gossip about him. Gossip which had long ago ceased to mean anything to Sasuke and Shika already knew how he felt anyway.

There was really only one question left to answer. How exactly was he going to word this? His interactions with Neji had been almost nonexistent and the one they had was at best neutral.

"I'll just be blunt." Sasuke shrugs.

He might respect that. After all, he was a Branch Member. The guy had almost no control over his own life. Having an option might very well appeal to him.

 _ **Dear Neji,**_

 _ **I know that you have no reason to want to help me. At least none that you can be confident in, but I am reaching out to you because I respect your expertise as it pertains to our fellow Leaf Ninjas.**_

 _ **More specifically, Shika Nara. It's a long story, but I would like your help in…courting her. (That is what Hyugas call it, isn't it)?**_

 _ **If you help me in this matter, I might be able to give you the one thing you want most. Your freedom.**_

 _ **If you're interesting in such an arrangement, meet me at the Forest of Death tomorrow. I know you can make up an excuse. You can't really send a scroll back to me. Your family would notice.**_

 _ **Sasuke.**_

It was fighting dirty, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Besides, Neji did deserve his freedom and so did the other Branch Members.

That and Hinata was already gearing up to dissolve the system slowly from what the loser had told him. This might just be a catalyst to speed it up.

"Go and take this to Neji." Sasuke whistles and a messenger hawk appears in his window. "As fast as you can and try not to be seen." He really didn't deal with explaining to the Hyuga Clan why he was writing Neji.

Fortunately, the hawk merely nods and allows Sasuke to attach the scroll. That was one of the reasons why Sasuke liked animals better than most people. With a few exceptions such as Manda, they were far more professional and they didn't ask stupid questions.

"Good." He smiles and gives the hawk a bit of meat. "Go!"

The hawk didn't need to be told twice. It takes off nearly as fast as his Chidori. Good. Things were in motion now.

He wouldn't have thought he'd fall for the second quietest girl in their Academy Class, but he had. Well, that or at least he was beginning to. In any case, she was basically the only woman he could hold an actual conversation with and she was an excellent kisser. That had to mean SOMETHING. Right?


	7. Chapter 7

You Can't Plan Love

 **Author's Note:** Thanks for the reviews. Sorry that this one took so long to update. I got sidetracked by my schedule and other stories. I'm not sure how long this one will take to update, but I have no intention of abandoning it. With that being said, I hope you all enjoy this chapter.

 **Chapter Notation:** This chapter ended up going in slightly silly direction and Sasuke's actions may be moderately out of character, but I hope everyone gets a good laugh out of it. Happy reading.

Chapter 7

The next day, whatever Neji Hyuga had been expecting to do with his day this certainly wasn't it. Helping Sasuke Uchiha court someone most assuredly had not been on his list of things to do before now.

"Is this some kind of joke?" Neji raises an eyebrow. "You want my help to seduce Shika Nara?"

There had to be a punch line in there somewhere. The lavender eyed man had never been particularly gifted when it came to comedy, but even he couldn't miss the humor in all this.

Sasuke nods at him. "Yes." Alright. So the Uchiha was serious about this. "I want you to help me because you're a genius."

That might be true, but being a genius intellectually and being a genius with women were two vastly different skill sets. Of course, there was always the possibility the last Uchiha might kill him, if Neji didn't assist his crazy scheme.

"Well, I'm not sure how much help I can be in this matter." Seriously, why him? "I can try, but I can't say that Shika and I are particularly close."

It wasn't that he had anything against the lazy genius exactly. Really, it was more that they hadn't interested all that much than anything else.

Sasuke crosses his arms as if resigning himself to annoying task. "Doesn't matter." Uh huh. "You're better at this sort of thing and you're people deserve to be free anyway."

Who would have thought that Sasuke would offer salvation to the Branch members? It certainly didn't seem like him.

"I may have misunderstood you." It was best to ensure that the details of their arrangement were perfectly clear from the beginning. "Are you offering me my freedom or all the Branch Members their freedom?" Lest disaster befall them all later on.

The raven haired ninja hesitates for a moment. "I'm offering you, your freedom at a minimum." Hmm. Interesting. "If it's possible, I'd prefer to undo the Branch System entirely."

It might not be his primary goal, but it seemed that something in Sasuke was to some degree repulsed by the Hyuga Caste System. Something that Neji had not foreseen.

"I would like that as well." His eyes dance with amusement. "Though I do hope that every single building in this village has fire insurance."

His co-conspirator shoots him a perplexed look at that. "Why?" Obviously, Sasuke didn't get the joke.

That was all well and good though. Neji didn't mind explaining the pun to a man who might very well be changing his entire destiny.

"Your Clan's association with fire has long been known and feared." He couldn't resist smirking. "So have the Terrible Twos. Gods and Goddesses help us all when your children start having temper tantrums."

Neji could just see it now. The entire village would go up in smoke, but the alternative was far worse. A lovesick Uchiha had once nearly destroyed the world.

So he wasn't eager to Sasuke follow in the footsteps of Obito. No, that simply could not be allowed.

"That's a good point." Sasuke shrugs gracefully as if the thought hadn't occurred to him. "Though if they take after their mother, that wouldn't be an issue. They'd be too lazy to set things in fire outside of dire situations."

"I'll concede that's accurate." Neji nods at him. "So first things first we have to figure out what we know about Shika and then we can go from there."

Sasuke hands him a long scroll. At first, Neji was a bit baffled at this. Upon reading it however, the last Uchiha's intentions became perfectly clear.

"This is quite thorough." The lavender eyed man blinks at it. "How long have you been working on this list?"

There must have been at least a hundred random facts about Shika listed on this thing. Sasuke had even gone so far as to list them in various categories. The man was nothing, if not efficient.

The other ninja smile at him. "I made it last night." Gods and Goddesses, Uchihas were insane.

It didn't matter whether they wanted to destroy the world or to seduce someone. The entire lot of them were insane.

"I see." He shakes his head. "Good thing that she's a tactical genius and has a formidable Shadow Possession Jutsu on her side." Otherwise, the poor woman wouldn't stand a chance with Sasuke Uchiha as her suitor.

Sasuke smirks. "Exactly." He must have known precisely what Neji was thinking.

Well logic told him this was a bad idea. Neji found himself at something of a crossroads. He could possibly leave and maybe Sasuke wouldn't try to kill him or he could help the last Uchiha with his crazy scheme to win Shika's affections.

"Very well." Neji sighs as he runs his fingers through his hair. "Let us commence this preposterous scheme of yours." It was a nervous habit of his.

Actually, that was the real reason why he had grown his hair out as long as it was. Longer hair meant that he could run his fingers through it longer and collect his thoughts better. Of course, he was never going to admit that to anyone.

"Good." Sasuke gestures to the list. "I'm sure you can find something useful on there."

* * *

Meanwhile Shika blinks as Aoda continues pointing at a family photo album of some sort. She didn't know which was harder to believe. That Sasuke had once been that small and adorable or that a snake was showing her baby pictures!

"Yes, this Master Sasuke as a Hatchling." Aoda nods as if this was a profound observation.

Shika shakes her head in amusement. "Yes, I see that." She had forgotten the fact that Sasuke had once had bubble eyes.

He must have grown out of them at some point. Now, they glared or smoldered. There was no denying that he had been an adorable child.

"Master Itachi was also an adorable Hatchling." Aoda continues on happily. "It runs in their clutch."

Right. Their clutch. Of course, it ran in their clutch because how else would a snake describe a family?

She rubs the back of her head sheepishly. "Yes, that does seem to be the case." What was this snake trying to pull exactly because Aoda obviously thought he was being sneaky?

"They were close before that night." He points to another page. "Master Sasuke often rode on Master Itachi's back."

Well yes, Shika did vaguely recall that. Of course, she had mostly been trying to stay awake during her Entrance Day, but still it had been pretty damn cute.

"Yes, I see that." She laughs. "What is it mating seasons for snakes?" Was Aoda trying to get her to put in a good word for him with Sasuke? Maybe that would explain his strange behavior.

Aoda probably would have raised an eyebrow at her, if he had them. "No, that's already passed." He pause for a moment before continuing. "Though I'm told that humans can mate year round?"

So the snake was interested in human mating habits? Well, Shika supposed that made sense. If you were a Summon, sooner or later, one would get curious about what their Master was up to.

"Yes, that's right." She smiles at him. "So what is all this about?" Because she knew without a doubt that Aoda was most assuredly up to something. He just had to be.

"Oh I just found the old book of pictures." Uh huh. "I thought they were nice. So I wanted to share them with you." That halo appearing above Aoda's head wasn't fooling Shika for a minute.

Of course, he was a snake. So she didn't mind allowing him his 'victory.' Besides a ninja must wait for the right time to strike and Aoda's guard was up now. So questioning him would likely be a drag and what's worse, it wouldn't produce any results.

* * *

Later that night, Sasuke returns to his District. Not surprisingly, Shika was there. Of course she was though. Kakashi had made her his babysitter.

"Hey." He carries a mountain of paper in his hands. "I want to show you something."

His conversation with Neji had proven fruitful indeed. If Sasuke was going convince Shika that a relationship with him was a good idea, he had to start thinking like her.

"Sasuke, what are you doing with all those papers?" Shika looks at him in confusion. "You must have cut down an entire forest to get that many."

Sasuke chuckles and shakes his head. "Well, it's more like the Leaf Village did." He points to the official Leaf Village Seal on them. "These are some of the papers that Kakashi had laying around."

To say the least, the silver haired ninja had been rather shocked when Sasuke offered to help him with paperwork. Obviously, he hadn't protested though. No ninja worth their salt was really all that overjoyed to spend all day pushing paper, but it was a necessary evil.

"So why do you have his papers?" Shika tilts her head at him.

Well, that was a long story. Still, Sasuke couldn't help but feel rather pleased by his own cleverness in all honesty.

 _"You want to help me sort through papers?" Kakashi blinked at him. "Sasuke, are you feeling well?"_

 _It was a legitimate question. Never in his life had Sasuke Uchiha seriously thought that he would be volunteering to do paperwork, but here he was. Doing exactly that._

 _He nodded at the other man. "Yes, I'm fine." Sasuke would be better than fine though once Shika got over her anxieties about their relationship. "Would you prefer to have to do them yourself? You don't actually think that I'm some sort of moron who can't handle paperwork, do you?"_

 _"Nevermind." Kakashi laughed softly at him. "If you really want to do paperwork that much, who am I to stop you?"_

 _Damn right. What an Uchiha wanted, they got. So if Sasuke had to face the dreaded Paperwork Monster of Doom to restore his Clan, that's exactly what he would do._

 _"Good." He headed towards the door with all the papers in his arms. "I'll see you later."_

Sasuke smiles at her. "I know that you're Kakashi's assistant." Shika nods at that, though obviously didn't have any idea where he was going with this. "Part of being his assistant is getting stuck with a lot of his stupid paperwork." Again, another nod. "So I figured out a way to save you some time."

Shika looks at him as though Sasuke had grown another head. He couldn't entirely blame her for that. Everyone knew how time consuming the more administrative aspects of being Hokage or the Hokage's Assistant could be and no one had ever been able to reduce the workload as far as he knew.

"How?" The Nara Heiress watches him curiously.

Good. Now, he had her attention. Neji was right. The easiest way to win her over was to start thinking like Shika.

"I've come up with a Jutsu that determines by chakra imprint how urgent the message is." He smiles. "Neji assisted me in this matter. When a ninja handles paperwork like you get a psychic read of sorts on their energy." He pauses for dramatic effect. "It's faint, but traceable. The most urgent papers will have a red stamp on them that will fade once they've been looked at."

Shika was now gazing at him as if he was some sort of genius. "What about the other papers?" That was a good point.

There was more than urgent or not urgent out there. There were states between those two extremes.

"Those of medium urgency will have a yellow stamp." He nods at her. "Finally, those that are low priority will have a green stamp."

It would be much more efficient than going through them individually to see what was more important. That or waiting to see if the ninja that gave them to you was frantic or not.

"This is genius!" She beams at him. "Paperwork is going to be way less of a drag now."

Yeah. That was the entire point. Sasuke nods at her in agreement, but he didn't expect what happened next.

Shika actually threw herself at him and pinned him to the ground. Not that he minded the tackle hug. The view was quite nice and everything.

"I take it that you approve of this Jutsu." He smirks at her.

The beautiful heiress nods at that. "Oh I highly approve." Good. Sasuke was just about to ask for elaboration on what exactly constituted as highly in this particular case when someone knocks on the door.

He lets out a loud groan. What did this village have against him restoring his Clan? Why did some idiot have to choose now of _**all**_ times to visit?!


	8. Chapter 8

You Can't Plan Love

 **Author's Note:** Thanks for the reviews. My schedule is very busy in April, so updates may lag as I try to balance all these stories. Rest assured, that I have no plans of abandoning this one. If you have any suggestions or requests for You Can't Plan Love, please let me know. I can't promise that I'll work them into the story, but I'll try. Happy reading.

Chapter 8

Shika watches with a dash of amusement, moderate exasperation, and a whole lot of embarrassment as Sasuke goes to answer the door. When she saw who it was though, well that all went out the window rather quickly.

"Sakura?" Sasuke looks just as dumbstruck as Shika felt. "Ino?"

Not one of them, but two of them? This could not be happening. It was like the Academy all over again. They had to be kidding.

Ino even had flowers in her arms. "Hey." She smiles. "After Taka's stunt, we wanted to make sure you were all okay and Sakura figured some more flowers would help to brighten the place up."

She was not jealous. Sasuke didn't even like Ino. He tolerated Sakura at best and that was only because she was his teammate.

Her fury at them was completely irrational and was a drag. She was better than this. She was the Hokage's Assistant. Not some Academy girl who was overprotective of her first boyfriend.

"I'm fine." Sasuke shrugs and sets the flowers down.

Well, at least the annoyance was clear in his voice. Sasuke was attempting to be polite, but there really was no disguising that he was not happy about their presence.

"Good." Sakura sighs and looks up at him almost as if she was going to cry. "We haven't really seen you that much since you got back. I'm glad you're back though."

Shika bet she was. She had hoped that Sakura had outgrown her crush with Sasuke. Maybe she had and it was just the concern someone would feel for their teammate though. Shika could dream. Right?

"I've been busy trying to rebuild the District." The raven haired ninja's eyes flicker towards Shika. "She's been helping me a lot. If you want to give someone flowers, go give them to Suigetsu."

A smirk grows on Sasuke's lips. It was obvious that her friend could be rather sadistic at times and he didn't hesitate to embrace those tendencies.

"He seems to love them." Sasuke nods at them.

Well, fair was fair. Suigetsu had come up with that crazy flower scheme. One good schemed deserved another and all that.

Sakura laughs at that and nods. "Yeah." She looks at him seriously though. "If you ever need someone to talk to, you know we're here though."

Maybe it was just genuine concern. That was only to be expected, but Shika didn't have to like it.

"If I want to talk, you'll know." There was an edge to Sasuke's voice.

A not so subtle dismissal. It was ridiculous and Shika knew it, but she couldn't help but feel smug at that knowledge.

Sakura and Ino nod at that. "Right. W-Well, we'll let you get back to it." The pinkette and blonde weren't completely oblivious though. "Unless you want some more help." Or not.

"I think we've got it covered." Sasuke opens the door for them. "I'll see you later."

Short of actually shoving them out of the door, Shika couldn't think of a clearer way to give them the brush off. It was a very Sasuke move. Well, when he was in a good mood anyway. In the old days, he probably would have just Chidoried them.

"Yeah!" They both quickly walk through the door. "Cya later." Before heading off.

Shika tries her best not to scoff. "What kind of ninja says 'cya?"' One would think they were all Genin again.

Sasuke smirks at that and the Nara Heiress mentally gulps. He knew. The last Uchiha was fully aware of what had transpired. She had gotten jealous and there wasn't a thing that Shika could do about it.

Knowing Sasuke, he'd find a way to use this to his advantage. That's what any good ninja would do. Hell, that's what any reasonably intelligent person would do. Vocation didn't even matter much in this case.

"They do, apparently." That smirk wasn't going away. "I'm more interested in you though." There it was. A critical metaphorical hit.

One that she didn't know how she was going to counter. She had to somehow though. This wasn't a good idea.

Her brain knew that. There were at least a thousand different reasons why getting romantically involved with him was a bad idea, but then he just had to smirk that way. What a drag.

* * *

"Humans are such strange creatures." Aoda shakes his head as he watches the spectacle unfold.

He was of course, standing outside the house. It was his job to guard the Uchiha District. Though he didn't think the two human females vying for Sasuke's attention were a real threat.

"That's put it mildly." A voice calls out from behind him.

Aoda turns around and looks for a moment before his eyes settle on a small dog. Pakkun. He was pretty sure that was the name of Kakashi's most articulate Ninja Hound.

He snorts in amusement. "I take it that Lord Kakashi sent you to monitor the situation." Apparently, he was far from the only Summon to be matchmaking.

"You could say that." He sighs as he hides behind Aoda's scale. "We're all very lucky that this didn't turn into an actual bloodbath."

Oh yes. That was true. More than once, Aoda had heard of humans getting particularly vicious when they were trying to find the best mate. Sometimes they were actually worse than his kind about the whole affair.

"I think that pink scales and light scales know better than to actually force their affections onto Master Sasuke." Besides, they were just not well suited for him just from a matter of aesthetics. "They yielded quickly enough." Their Hatchlings would look strange.

The canine nods in agreement. "Yes, that's one disaster averted." Indeed it was. "What's your opinion on the matter?"

Oh well, Aoda had a lot of thoughts on the potential match. It was nice to be asked though. Not many took the time to converse with snakes.

"I think it's a good match." He sways from side to side pleased to be the center of attention in a positive way. "I'm trying to encourage them, of course. So I showed the female some pictures of Master Sasuke as a Hatchling."

Pakkun gives him a look of disbelief. "Why did you show her that?" Pft. The answer should be obvious.

Of course, Aoda wouldn't say that though. He didn't want to risk offending the canine. Who might become his friend.

"Master Sasuke was an adorable Hatchlings." He nods sagely. "Many females are vulnerable to that sort of thing and it would bode well for their Hatchlings having the same Bubble Eyes that he possessed as a child."

Pakkun falls over laughing. Aoda wasn't sure how to respond to that. Honestly, what had he said that was so amusing.

"Did you really just say that Sasuke Uchiha had Bubble Eyes as a child?" The dog just wouldn't stop laughing.

Aoda glowers. "Of course, he did." They were spectacular in their bubblyness and no, Aoda didn't care that that wasn't a real word.

It was an accurate description. Anyone would agree with him once they saw the picture. Facts were facts.

"Right." Pakkun shakes his head. "I'm sure that the baby pictures are what will get them together."

Aoda swats him. "Do not underestimate the power of adorable Hatchlings." Hmpf. What was wrong with this canine anyway?

Why was he so cynical? Certainly, his Master had never been that way. It didn't make any sense.

* * *

"Not really sure why." Shika eyes him warily back in the house.

Sasuke didn't know whether to be flattered or feel guilty that she was looking at him that way. Like he was a wolf and she was actually one of those deer that her family raised.

He settles on a combination of both. "Ironically enough, that card was pretty accurate." Jugo knew him all too well. "So that's why."

He was probably pushing her too fast. Sasuke didn't know much about romantic relationships, but he knew that look of panic.

"Uh huh." Shika nods. "Well, you know why this is a bad idea. You're smart enough to know that."

Shika still had a lot to learn about him. "I understand you're reasons, but that's why I'm foolish." Sasuke smiles at her and takes her hand into his own. "I know when things are a bad idea, but I do them anyway."

It was surprisingly soft for a ninja's. Most ninjas got rough hands from training or wielding their elements too much. Not Shika.

That likely had something to do with her shadow techniques though. It didn't require much physical force. So yeah. She got to keep her soft hands. A luxury that most ninjas didn't.

"That makes sense." She smiles at him as she tries to lightly pull her hand away. "Luckily for both of us, I'm more sensible than you are."

Sasuke wasn't sure if that was lucky or a drag. Oh well. He could still do this, even Neji thought he had a chance and that was quite possibly the most cynical ninja that Sasuke had ever met.

"How about we talk about it later?" Sasuke smiles at her. "It's a nice day out. We can go cloud watching.

It was an activity that Shika enjoyed. That and no one would think they were going to be seduced while watching clouds. So it should calm her down and maybe then he'd be able to reason with her.

Shika blinks and looks at him like he'd grown another head. "You want to cloud watch?" The underlying 'Now?"' hangs heavily in the air, but Sasuke nods as if to reassure her.

"Yeah." He keeps her hand firmly in his own. "I think that we both need time to think about things and what's a better activity for that than looking up at the sky?"

Team Seven had done it now and then. Naruto had always seen the most ridiculous shapes when they did. It had been funny in a strange way.

He had no idea what Shika would see when she looked upwards, but Sasuke knew it would be something he wouldn't have thought of. Then again, before her his mind had mostly been focused on pain. Things were different now.

"Alright." She walks towards the door with him. "I guess that's some pretty good reasoning, but don't try anything funny?"

Did Shika count looking at her backside as she walked in front of him trying something funny? If that was the case, Sasuke was already doing that.

"I won't try anything funny." So he wasn't entirely sure if he was lying to her or not. "I promise." Still, it wasn't on purpose. That was just a natural human impulse.

She smiles at him. "Good." With that being said, they headed outside.

The amount of progress on the District they had made was incredible. If Sasuke didn't know any better, he might genuinely believe that he had gone back in time.

"Very good." Sasuke walks alongside her as they look for a good spot. "Where would you like to sit?"

That no massacre had ever happened. That his beloved older brother and the rest of their family was alive. That he had never left the Leaf.

"Maybe on the roof would be the best view." She looks up at the structure appraisingly.

Perhaps she really thought she was assessing the soundness of the roof. Whether or not it could actually support their weight. It could though. Sasuke had helped to build it with his two hands. So he damn well knew what it was capable of doing and not doing.

"I think so too." He didn't give her any warning as he scoops her up into his arms and leaps. "So let's go with that." They landed on the roof flawlessly. It was an easy jump for any ninja worth their salt.

"You're just like a cat." She rolls her eyes at him playfully. "Always landing on your feet and everything." Damn right and just like a cat, he'd corner his prey.


	9. Chapter 9

You Can't Plan Love

 **Author's Note:** Thanks for the reviews. I'm still not sure how regular updates will be, but rest assured I have no intention of abandoning this story. Happy reading.

 **Chapter Notation:** This takes place six months after the last chapter.

Chapter 9

It had been six months since they started 'dating' or courting as his father might have called it. Things were going well enough that even the villagers were no longer surprised to see them together.

"It's a puppy." Shika shakes her head at him.

While some of the more skeptical villagers were still watching him with admittedly wary eyes, more and more were slowly beginning to treat him like a normal person again. That was all because of her.

Still, the woman was completely out of her mind if she truly believed that was a puppy. "I love you, but you need your eyes checked." Badly. "That's clearly a cat."

Sasuke glances up at the sky again and nods with certainty. Though he supposed his new hobby of cloud watching might have had something to do with it.

He'd never really met someone like Shika who was content to do absolutely nothing, but stare at the sky. Well that and kiss. Kiss and embrace.

"What a drag." She rolls her eyes at him. "You're so damn competitive. Does it really matter if it's a dog or a cat?"

Maybe it didn't really matter. They were just saying what the cloud shapes most closely resembled. Still, it was the principle of the thing.

"Good." He nods at her. "So you agree that it's a cat and not a dog."

He wouldn't let her win that easily. Sasuke Uchiha hated losing, even to Shika. Which probably wasn't very healthy, but whatever. It was just biology.

"You're impossible." She sighs as she rolls over and kisses him. "They're both medium sized mammals that people keep as pets or can serve as animal ninjas. Does it really matter?"

He smiles and kisses back. Those were all fair points. Though Sasuke would argue that some dogs definitely drifted out of the medium sized category, but whatever.

"I guess you're right." He breaks the kiss. "It can be a cat-dog hybrid."

She snorts at that. "Sure. That works." Shika must have been used to his sense of humor by now because she didn't bother to argue with it.

Which was a good thing. She had learned her lesson on the first night they really spent watching the clouds together.

 _"You're not going to drop this." Shika's eyes opened._

 _They were still filled with sleep, but she was determined. It shouldn't have surprised him that the formerly slumbering ninja in his arms would be all about business when she woke up after a night of cloud watching and stargazing._

 _Hours had gone by. They had looked at the sky and talked. They had kissed. A lot and eventually, Shika fell asleep in his arms._

 _"No." He shook his head. "I'm not. I'm just more stubborn than you."_

 _It was in his nature. Uchihas were stubborn creatures. It was just something that came with the territory along with the natural predisposition towards fire and everything else._

 _"Well, I can't lie." She shrugged at him, feigning a sense of casualness. "That's probably true, but mostly because I don't want to waste energy."_

 _That was yet another reason why they were complete opposites. He would expend whatever energy was necessary and then some to complete his goals. She would do the bare minimum._

 _Shika could get away with that because her goals were simple and she was smart enough to do so. He couldn't or wouldn't as she would say._

 _"Good." Sasuke smirked at her. "So you give up?"_

 _Shika laughed as she kissed him. "I might as well." She smiled slyly at Sasuke. "Besides, who can resist those Bubble Eyes?"_

 _Bubble Eyes? It was at that moment that Sasuke knew that a certain serpent had been meddling._

 _"Aoda showed you my baby pictures." Sasuke twitched. "Didn't he?"_

 _To which Shika nodded and Sasuke mentally groaned. Honestly, that snake was going to be the death of him one day. Granted, he was trying to help, but still no man wanted his future lover to see his baby pictures!_

"Good." Sasuke nods at her. "I'm glad we agree on the important things in life." Such as cloud watching.

* * *

Meanwhile Suigetsu shakes his head at Karin. He couldn't believe that she was still afraid of Sasuke's Summon.

"You know, you can let go of me, right?" The white haired ninja would never understand why so many women were afraid of snakes.

She glares at him. "I'm not holding onto you." Right. That was why it felt like his ribs were about to crack from her death grip.

Aoda was just shaking his head at them though. Poor guy. He was probably used to this sort of response.

"I just wanted to point out that it's been six months since they began their Mating Dance." The snake sways from side to side happily as Jugo pets him.

While Karin was terrified of the friendly Summon, Jugo wasn't. That was Jugo though. The big guy just wasn't afraid of any sort of animal. He was like some sort of animal whisperer or something. It was pretty crazy.

The ridiculously tall man smiles. "Yes, that's a major milestone." Seriously, how was it possible to be that tall?

The guy was even taller than Kisame. Which was just freaking weird. That sort of height shouldn't be possible to obtain in nature. Not that Suigetsu was short, but still.

"Yeah." Karin nods, seeming to get over her fear.

The reptile was obviously feeling pretty smug. "I've been discussing this with Master Kakashi and we're both in agreement." Oh boy. "Master Sasuke is likely to ask her to be his official Mate soon."

 _ **THUD!**_ Well that was more than enough to make them all fall onto their collective hindquarters at once.

Sheesh. The Summon could have given them a little more warning. That wasn't the sort of thing that you just dropped on someone.

"He's right." A ninja dog races over towards them. "So it's up to us to make sure that Naruto and Sakura are away from the Uchiha District when he does it."

You had to be kidding. There was no way they were going to be able to keep those two away from Sasuke. Hell, that is what they had spent years doing.

"They mean well, but Master Naruto can be rather loud and loudness isn't exactly a romantic quality." Aoda smiles at them. "Unless it is in the middle of an actual Mating and then it is up to the individuals' involved."

Great. That wasn't creepy at all. A freaking snake had just implied that some snakes had a thing for screamers.

"Got it." He sighs as he starts heading towards the hospital. "Well let's go distract them. Sasuke will destroy this village, if the mood is ruined because they couldn't leave him alone for five minutes."

The other members of Taka nod at that and with that, they all head off. This was going to be interesting. Now, what would be the best way to distract Sakura and Naruto?

* * *

A few hours later, Shika knew that something was up. Why else would Sasuke want to go to the Academy at this hour?

"You want to what?" She blinks, not sure if she had heard him correctly.

Sasuke smiles at her. "I want to go to the Academy with you." Warning bells were now sounding in her head.

Why would he want to go back there? No one was at the Academy at this hour. It didn't make any sense.

"You're not going to do something stupid, are you?" She raises an eyebrow at him.

He shakes his head as he takes her hand in his own before kissing it. "No, I'm not going to do anything stupid." Before proceeding to drag her off in a only slightly brutish pace.

Had she really wanted to, Shika could have easily wiggled out of his grasp. She was pretty sure Sasuke knew that. He wasn't actually trying to kidnap her. The last Uchiha was just excited about well, something and was that a picnic basket in his hand?

"Good." She nods at him as they race towards the Academy. "Because I've put a lot of hard work into redeeming that sexy and troublesome ass of yours and it would be a drag if you threw all that out the window."

Facts were facts. It was a rather well-shaped posterior. Then again, so was everything else about Sasuke. There was just no getting around that ninja training regimes could produce some very desirable results.

"Yeah." Sasuke smirks at her as he opens the Academy door when they arrive. "That would be a drag."

That smirk really should be illegal. No one should be allowed to smirk in that way and get away with it.

She nods at him as they head inside. "Yes, yes, it would." It was almost disturbing really. The way nothing had changed. "It looks exactly the same."

To Shika, they might as well have literally gone back in time. Seriously, you would think that they'd change the interior design or something over the years, but no.

"Yeah." He wraps his arms around her waist and guides her towards one of the windows. "There's not a lot about the Leaf that changes much, including the insects."

Shika was about to ask what Sasuke meant when she looks out the window and gasps. It was beautiful. There had to be thousands of fireflies out there. Thousands.

Shino would have flipped his lid over this. They were beautiful. The glowing lights just humming along in the sky. How hadn't she known about this? How hadn't anyone?

"How'd you find this out?" She leans back into his embrace.

Even a year ago, the very thought would have been ludicrous. Her or anyone being wrapped in Sasuke Uchiha's arms would have seemed at best farfetched and at worst, downright insane.

It was happening though. She could feel his arms wrapped around her and even his heart beating, if she listens closely enough. A surreal, but comforting experience. Made even more so by the fireflies.

Sasuke smiles at her. "Itachi showed me a long time ago." Oh. "It was shortly after I joined the Academy, after our first progress report."

Yeah. Those. Shika remembered them all too well. To say the least, her mother hadn't been particularly pleased by her usual result.

 _ **Shika shows exceptional intelligence, but refuses to apply herself. More often than not, she sleeps through most of our lessons. ~ Iruka**_

It had been like clockwork really. Every couple of months, another report would come home. Her mother would have a fit and her father would try to calm her down.

"Normally, I'd say that's something that a big brother might do to cheer up his little brother who did poorly." Sasuke had never done poorly though. "That wasn't the case with you. So was it some kind of reward for doing well?" She could see Itachi doing that.

Sasuke chuckles at that and shakes his head as he kisses her cheek. "Not exactly." Uh huh? "I did well, but I was upset because my father hadn't reacted in the way I had hoped. He was always more interested in Itachi or at least it seemed that way at the time."

Oh. Sibling rivalry. She could hear it in his voice. It would have been exceedingly difficult to carve out your own niche when your elder brother was a genius like Itachi. Well at least, before the Massacre.

"Eh." She smiles at him. "I'm sure he loved you in his own way, but he was the Head of your Clan and had to groom his successor. I'm sure that's all it was."

Sasuke nods as he watches the fireflies. "My mother said he spoke of me often. When I wasn't in earshot." His voice sounds somewhere between amused and annoyed. "Anyway, Itachi took me here to cheer me up and I've always associated it with positive memories ever since. That and this is where we first met."

That was true. Granted, Shika couldn't clearly recall their first interaction. Most likely, he had bumped her when she was asleep or she had rolled her eyes at his admirers.

That didn't really matter in this case though. What mattered was he was right. This was where they had first met.

"Yeah." She nods at him.

That's when Sasuke pulls something out of his kunai pouch. "So I thought it was a fitting place to ask." Something small and shiny.

A ring! It was made of solid silver save for a dragon that had been carved out of a ruby. Was that what she thought it was?

"A-Are you proposing?" He couldn't be serious.

They hadn't even been dating for a year yet. Hell, she hadn't even had the courage to take their relationship to the next level. Mostly because of her self-consciousness when it came to stamina.

"Yes, that's usually what it means when a man shows an engagement ring to a woman." He smiles at her and kisses her forehead. "I'm not an idiot. I know you have your concerns for obvious reasons, but I love you. We're good together. You soothe me and I keep you from sleeping all day."

Shika couldn't help, but snort at that last part. Only Sasuke could somehow work sarcasm into a marriage proposal!

"Well, when you put it that way, it does make sense." She bites her lower lip as she thinks it over.

They had been together for awhile. Their relationship was going perfectly minus her concerns. Besides, she was a genius. She could figure something out.

"Yes." She smiles and kisses him. "Yes, but you're planning the wedding. It'd be a drag to have to go through all that trouble to plan it."

Sasuke kisses back and rolls his eyes playfully. "I have no idea how you helped to win the war when you give up so easily, but I don't mind." He smirks. "It just means that we'll have a wedding no one will ever forget." Oh boy. What had she just gotten herself into?


	10. Chapter 10

You Can't Plan Love

 **Author's Note:** Thanks for the reviews. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and a special thanks to Uchiha-no-Hime for their amazing suggestions. Some of which I will be attempting to incorporate into this chapter. Happy reading.

Chapter 10

Sasuke Uchiha had faced many great dangers in his life, but today might very well be the biggest of them all because he was officially meeting Shikaku Nara for the first time. The Father Jutsu was terrifying.

"You know, traditionally the man does meet the woman's parents _**BEFORE**_ he proposes." The older man chuckles.

Right. He probably should have done that. Why Sasuke hadn't was a bit beyond him.

It seemed like something that he should have instinctively realized, but he hadn't. Probably because he was so used to living on his own. That and he had never really had to interact with the parents of those he cared about before outside of battle.

So Sasuke rubs the back of his head sheepishly in response. "Yes, but since when has anything about the Leaf Village ever been traditional?" Nearly the entire village was either outright crazy or bordering on it, if one didn't count the children.

"Touché." He laughs again as he shakes his head. "I never thought that I'd see the day when you were so nervous around me."

Sasuke hadn't either, but then again he hadn't been planning to marry the man's daughter a year ago and those shadows could be annoying. When it came to raw power and Jutsu diversity, Sasuke had the elder ninja beat hands down. Though it would only take one small slip up to be caught in those shadows and to be fair, Sasuke would have to let the man have his victory.

"Me neither." There was no point in lying. "I'm surprised you haven't tried to throw a Jutsu at me yet. I can't imagine that you approve of the match."

One day, he'd be a father. That was of course, assuming that the process of childbirth wasn't too much of a 'drag' for his intended. If/when that day came, he wanted the boy asking for his daughter's hand to be terrified of him. So Sasuke would extend the same courtesy to the Jonin standing before him.

"I'm not going to waste the energy." Shikaku shakes his head. "I trust my daughter's judgment and despite your colorful reputation, one thing that you have never been known as is someone who leads women on."

Well, that was accurate enough. Sasuke couldn't really argue with that. So he just smiles and nods as he struggles to come up with a coherent response.

He was an Uchiha damn it. "Thank you. How does your wife feel about the matter?" Uchiha didn't stutter.

"Surprisingly, she's more interested in grandchildren than anything." The other man lets out a hearty laugh at that observation. "She's never mentioned them before, but now that the possibility exists…well, she's interested. I do want to thank you though for one thing."

Sasuke raises an eyebrow at that. What could the other more respectable ninja possibly have to thank him for? Shouldn't Sasuke be the one thanking him for helping to bring Shika into this world instead of the other way around?

"You stopped my daughter from picking up her fallen Sensei's bad habit." He sighs as he places a hand over his heart. "Asuma was a very good man, but smoking isn't the healthiest thing that one can indulge in." That was certainly true.

 _"Shika, put that down." Sasuke barely refrained from rolling his eyes. "Picking up your Sensei's bad habits isn't the best way to honor him."_

 _He knew what she was trying to do. Contrary to popular belief, Sasuke Uchiha did have emotional range beyond anger._

 _She glared at him. "You're really going to lecture me about bad habits?" Alright. She had a point there, but still._

 _"In this case, yes." He captured her lips with his own, silencing any further protests before she could make them. "I'll be damned, if I lose you to avoidable causes."_

 _Really, it was something of a miracle that Asuma hadn't been killed before he had. Only instead of by the Akatsuki, the cancer sticks as Sasuke liked to call them could have taken him down just as easily._

 _Shika kissed him back. It was instinctive at this point. Though Sasuke knew that he was in for a real 'drag' later due to distracting her from her 'new hobby,' he didn't care._

 _Kissing was something he enjoyed. A lot and so did she. No matter how mad at him, Shika pretended to be._

"That's true." Sasuke smiles at him. "Well, I'm glad that you're both taking this so well. I'm sure the Loser will never let me hear the end of it though.

Shikaku snorts at that. "I can't believe you still refer to Naruto as a loser." Well, of course Sasuke did. Once a loser, always a loser.

* * *

"AHHH-CHOO!" Naruto sneezes on the other side of the village.

It took Taka and Sakura exactly two seconds give him funny looks for doing so. Honestly, what was the big deal? People sneezed all the time.

Karin smirks at him. "You know, they say when you sneeze that it means someone is talking to you." Yeah. Naruto had heard that before, but it was just so silly.

That couldn't actually be for real. Right? Otherwise, people would be sneezing all the time and that would be so creepy.

"Yeah." He shakes his head. "I doubt that's accurate. So what were you saying, Suigetsu?"

Suigetsu was looking even more smug than normal. "I was just saying that I'm pretty sure Sasuke proposed to his girlfriend." Which was certainly saying something.

Wait. What was that last part? No way.

"W-What makes you say that?" Naruto blinks.

It would make sense. They seemed so happy together, but it was all just weird. Sasuke had never even really looked at girls before Shika got assigned ot help him with readjusting to the Leaf Village and now, he might be getting married.

Jugo chuckles as if the answer was obvious. "He saw Sasuke taking Shika to the Academy the other night." Okay. Naruto still didn't get why that meant anything though. "When they arrived, she didn't have a ring on her finger. She did when they left though."

Ohhh. Yeah. That would do it. Well, this was awesome!

"We've gotta make sure that they have the awesome wedding party ever!" He grins at everyone.

He couldn't lie though. It was a bit awkward to do that in front of Sakura. She used to have a major crush on Sasuke and now, the woman had just found out that Sasuke had proposed to someone else.

Sakura sighs and smiles. "Yes, we'll make sure they do." Apparently, she was taking it pretty well though. Then again, perhaps that was only to be expected. The pinkette had had months to get used to everything.

"Yeah!" Naruto grins from ear to ear at the thought of what this meant. "So I'm totally going to be Best Man."

This was going to be so awesome. They'd probably let them plan the entire wedding. Shika was lazy and Sasuke probably wouldn't care about that type of thing anyway.

"Do you think they'll let us have ramen at the reception?" He smiles.

 _ **Smack!**_ "You're such an idiot." Sakura rolls her eyes. "Seriously, who has Ramen at their wedding?"

Owe. That hurt. Naruto really didn't understand why Sakura had to go and do that either. It was a very legitimate question.

"Oh come on." He laughs. "Ramen is amazing. So why wouldn't someone want amazing food at their wedding?"

* * *

Shika smiles as she watches Mirai play with the neighbors' cat. The toddler was utterly fearless. At her age, Shika wouldn't have gotten near anything with claws. It would have been too much of a drag to get scratched.

"She's growing so fast." The lazy prodigy laughs.

It was hard to believe that Asuma had been gone for so long, but it was true. The passage of time was easily marked by his daughter's increase in height and vocabulary.

"Kitty!" Mirai giggles.

Children could be so cute sometimes. Things were easier when you were smaller. Well, most of the time anyway.

She damn well knew that Sasuke's childhood hadn't been nearly as easy as her own. The young woman couldn't help, but feel a little guilty about not being there for him sooner. That was in the past though.

Kurenai smiles and nods at her daughter. "Yes, kitty." Before turning her attention to Shika. "So are we going to talk about that ring on your finger?"

Right. That was the elephant in the room that they hadn't addressed yet. Well, it was now or never.

"Sasuke proposed." She bites her lower lip. "I said yes. It probably isn't the smartest idea, marrying someone you haven't been dating for a year." What would Asuma think? "But it was a beautiful moment and it would have been a drag to say no."

Kurenai nods at that and pats her on the shoulder. "I understand." Her ruby red eyes follow her daughter's every move. "At a certain point though, don't make the same mistake that I did. Don't waste time."

Shika winces at that. The underlying implication hung heavily in the air. Neither of them would dare to address it directly, but they both knew what she meant.

"Yeah." She swallows hard as the message sinks in. "I won't, but you're really doing great with her."

There was no denying that Kurenai was an excellent mother. She was a great teacher too. That had probably been part of the appeal for her Sensei.

Shika wouldn't know. Asuma had strove to keep his relationship with Kurenai pretty discrete. Probably for good reason. They were both well known ninjas had and had more than their fair share of enemies.

"Thank you." Kurenai laughs softly at that as though Shika had said something funny. "Though I've been lucky. You've been a great help and she has her father's easy going nature."

That did make sense. Though it also makes Shika pause. What was she going to do if their children took after Sasuke?

Hopefully, his house was actually fireproof. What if their children started breathing fire during their Terrible Twos?!

"Good." She smiles at Kurenai, trying to push that thought to the side. "I'm glad."

They both deserved better though. If it wasn't for the Akatsuki, Asuma would still be here. Driving Kurenai crazy with his smoking and probably petting the cat right along with his daughter, but he wasn't.

It was a painful reality, but Shika had mostly grown used to it. What else could she do really? Few ninjas would end up dying of old age.

"I know you'll be happy with him." Kurenai suddenly looks at her and giggles. "After all, they do say that opposites attract."

Yeah. Shika had heard that as well and she was starting to believe it was true. She didn't think there was a man out there who was more her opposite than Sasuke Uchiha was at first glance and yet, they somehow still complimented each other in ways that she could barely articulate.

"Thank you." It was hard not to blush at that comment. "Knowing him, Mirai will likely have a playmate before long."

She couldn't imagine Sasuke not trying to talk her into a family almost immediately after they exchanged vows. It was obviously what he wanted most in the world and while Shika had never given it much thought before, she had always assumed she'd have one or two kids at some point.

Kurenai laughs at that. "You'll have to put your foot down early on." Yeah. "Otherwise, he'll likely try to talk you into double digits and I'm not sure there are enough shadow clones in the world to deal with that many Uchiha children running around."

True. Though obviously, the village had managed it at one point. The Uchihas had been a large Clan out of necessity. Otherwise the Sharingan would have died off due to lack of genetic diversity.

"You're right." Shika finds herself laughing despite the potentially complicated situation. "I'm definitely cutting him off before we hit double digits."

Shika wasn't exactly sure what her limit would be, but she knew that there was no way she'd allow them to be outnumbered five to one. That would be a major drag to say the least.

"Good idea." Kurenai winks at her. "Though since you accepted his proposal, we should probably find your mother and go out shopping for a dress."

Shika barely suppresses a groan at that. Dress shopping was so troublesome and her mother could be such a perfectionist.

"He so owes me for this." The lazy genius sighs and nods. "You're right though. We probably should." After all, a bride could hardly be expected to show up to her own wedding wearing her Jonin uniform. She needed a dress. Whether she liked it or not.


	11. Chapter 11

You Can't Plan Love

 **Author's Note:** Thanks for the reviews. I hope that you all enjoy this chapter. I can't concretely promise how fast updates will be on any of my stories currently, but I'm hoping that I'll be able to update this one fairly rapidly from here on out. Happy reading.

 **Chapter Notation:** This takes place two months after the previous chapter. I decided to add a bit of drama, but don't worry. I only do happy endings.

Chapter 11

"What a drag." Shika sighs inside her room as her friends and mother fuss over her. "You're all being ridiculous. Sasuke won't care if my hair is down or up."

He wasn't that shallow and even if he was, it wouldn't matter. It wasn't like her hair wasn't going to get messed up during the ceremony anyway. Not to mention, there was still the Honeymoon to consider.

Yoshino shakes her head. "Quit being difficult." Her mother had to be kidding.

Shika hadn't been difficult about this entire process. She had literally allowed her mother to do whatever she wanted because Shika didn't care about such things and Sasuke was more than content to let Shika have HER dream wedding.

"I'm not being difficult." She rolls her eyes.

Kurenai laughs softly at that and shakes her head. "I'd just leave it down then." Thank goodness for the Genjutsu Mistress. "Mirai is already out there, throwing the flowers everywhere. We don't really have much time to fiddle with her hair."

If wasn't for Kurenai, there probably would have been quite a bit of bloodshed already. Not that it really mattered. Most of her kimono was crimson red and the rest of was black.

"You look beautiful." Sakura smiles at Shika.

It was weird to have her there. The lazy genius wasn't completely oblivious. At least two of her bridesmaids used to be obsessed with her future husband, but they both meant well. Besides, it wasn't like she couldn't not invite their teammates.

So she just smiles and nods. "Right." Shika yawns as she straightens out the beautiful silken fabric that was now cascading down her body. "Let's do this then." It wasn't like she was going to wait around all day for them to get their act together.

Shika had important things to do. Like get to her Honeymoon and discuss the matter of children with Sasuke. She was definitely putting her foot down before double digits and that was final!

"Yep." Tenten nods as she opens the door for them. "You'll do great!"

Why the encouragement was necessary, Shika didn't know. All she had to do was walk down the aisle, say 'I Do,' and kiss Sasuke. This wasn't going to be hard.

"Thanks." She shrugs as she makes her way outside.

Most people got cold feet on the day of their wedding though. Well at least, that's what everyone told her. Shika no longer had to worry about that.

After the initial shock had worn off, the prodigy knew that she had made the right decision. That was further reinforced with every step she took down the glorious red carpet that had been laid out for them.

"I can't believe he actually got a red carpet." Shika laughs as she begins making her way down the aisle.

It was a drag because everyone was staring. Of course, she didn't blame them. To this day, there was still a surreal feeling that lingered around her relationship with Sasuke Uchiha.

Truly, despite the fact the birds were chirping and the sun was shining down on her, the moment felt almost imagined. It was as if she was about to wake up from a dream or something.

* * *

Sasuke still couldn't believe this was actually happening. "Naruto, shut up." He was getting married and to a woman that he had barely looked twice at during his Academy Days and yet, he was completely in love with her.

"No, I'm just saying you totally need it." Naruto grins at him. "I mean you want to have kids. I'm not sure you even know what to do on your Honeymoon."

Only Naruto could make a man want to strangle him at his own wedding. That took talent, Sasuke muses.

"Loser, just shut it." He didn't need the help of any book for that. "I'm not an Academy student."

He would have continued to tell Naruto what an idiot he was, if it wasn't for the fact Shika had just walked out. His bride was magnificent in the wedding kimono she had chosen to wear.

Red and black. The symbolism wasn't lost on him. It was a reference to the Sharingan. Shika did like to indulge him in subtle ways.

"Ah." Kakashi chuckles as he watches her walk down the aisle with her father at the side. "I'm so glad that the two of you found each other. You're well matched."

Sasuke rolls his eyes at that. He damn well knew that Kakashi had something to do with all this. He wouldn't complain though.

"Who knew she could be so hot?" Suigestu blinks.

The last Uchiha smacks him upside the head for that comment. "Don't talk about my wife that way, you pervert." Much to the amusement of the crowd.

Yeah. Taka was here in addition to Team Seven. Sasuke knew that move was likely ruffling more than a few feathers, but he didn't care.

It was hard to care about much else other than marrying Shika. Though privately, he couldn't help but be impressed by how quickly the Naras had put together such a fantastic wedding.

"They really went all out." Jugo smiles serenely.

Yeah. There were mountains of food piled high on various tables. Everything from common favorite dishes to more exotic. Not to mention the fact a deer had been the ring bearer.

No. Sasuke wasn't kidding. Gods and Goddesses only knew how the Naras had trained the animal to carry a ring to the crystal alter the Naras had constructed for the ceremony, but they had.

"Yes, they did." Sasuke nods in agreement.

There were also banners and flowers everywhere. The banners of his Clan and the Naras. The Uchiha banners looked suspiciously new. Obviously, they had been made just for this occasion.

Shikaku smiles as he helps Shika get to the alter. "Just make sure to take care of her." That comment immediately causes the bride to grumble and her cheeks to burn crimson red. Sasuke had never seen anything so beautiful.

"I will." He nods.

Luckily, Shika's crazy mother had already joined the rest of the crowd. Yoshino was not a woman that even Sasuke Uchiha wanted to get on the bad side of.

"Wonderful." Kakashi beams at the crowd. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Sasuke Uchiha and Shika Nara." His former teacher was enjoying this. "If anyone has any reason why they should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace. Though I wouldn't recommend it." He winks at everyone. "Annoying Sasuke would be quite the drag."

Great. He should have known better than to have the silver haired devil officiate over their wedding, but he was Hokage.

"No objections!" The crowd was almost a single entity at this point.

One voice blurs with the next and Sasuke just didn't care as he takes Shika's hands into his own. Soon enough, Kakashi's stupidity would be over and they would be married. Then they could get onto more enjoyable matters like the Honeymoon.

"Good." Kakashi smiles at them. "Do you Sasuke Uchiha take Shika Naruto to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Of course, but Sasuke knew he had to let the Hokage finish. "To love, honor, and cherish her for all your days? In good times and in bad? Till death do you part even when you have toddlers throwing fireballs everywhere during their temper tantrums?"

He just had to get that last dig in there. That was fine though. Nothing was going to ruin today.

"I do." Sasuke smiles at Shika.

Kakashi chuckles and turns his attention to the beautiful woman standing near him. "Do you Shika Nara take Sasuke Uchiha to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Of course, she was going to. "To love, honor, and cherish him for all your days? In good times and in bad? Till death do you part even when you have toddlers throwing fireballs everywhere during their tantrums?"

The raven haired ninja had never known that people's faces could turn that red before. It was kinda incredible really.

"I do, but I want Sasuke to know that we're not going for double digits." Shika smirks at him.

Two could play that game. "Nine it is." He returns her smirk with one of his own.

Kakashi chuckles at that as Shika looks mortified. Everyone was laughing in the audience. The adults knew exactly what each of them were implying and the children were likely just laughing because the grownups were.

Well, at least that's what Sasuke hoped was happening anyway. They were far too young to know about such things just yet.

"You may kiss the bride." He grins at the pair. "Preferably before you strangle each other."

Sasuke certainly didn't need to be told twice as he quickly captures Shika's lips in his own. It was the easiest and most enjoyable way to postpone the children debate that he knew of.

Naruto laughs as he watches them kiss. "Wait to go, Bastard." Though Sasuke didn't really care.

All that mattered was that they were married and Shika was kissing him back. He had no idea how the lazy genius had become such a good kisser, but he was just glad that she was.

A few seconds or an eternity could have passed by before they pulled apart for air. Sasuke didn't know and he didn't care. The sight of her beautifully flushed face was a lovely one that he would never get tired of.

"We should probably throw the bouquet and garter belt." She laughs softly at him. "Then we should cut the cake and do all the other normal wedding stuff. It's a drag waiting for the Honeymoon, but it's tradition."

Sasuke just smirks at that and nods as he helps her sit down. It was good to know that they were on the same wavelength about that Honeymoon thing.

"Got it." With that being said, he slowly slides her garter belt off.

This was going to be fun. If nothing else, he could mess with the loser or Taka.

* * *

It was disgusting, really. Watching that traitor get married and so may people pretending that nothing was wrong. What was wrong with all of them?

"Don't worry, Boss." Chara smiles at him. "We've got this."

Kosvo nods in agreement. They did. The two of them had been watching subtly picking up intel about the happy couple for quite sometime.

Of course, it would be almost possible to spy on them directly. So they had employed quite a large network of ninja cats. Without them talking or wearing any identifiable uniform, they were great for picking up information.

"You're right." He smiles.

Knowledge was power. If they ever hoped to defeat Sasuke Uchiha, they couldn't do it with brawn alone. So they had to get sneaky.

She smiles and watches as the garter belt and flowers go flying. "Well, I'll say this much for them…it is a beautiful wedding." Ironically, they fell right into her hands.

Everyone began clapping and Kosvo does his best not to roll his eyes. They were all fools. The entire lot of them.

"Damn belt." He sighs a moment later when the lacy garment hits him in the head and that was only the beginning of the night's indignities.

As the hours pass by, he witnesses them cutting the cake and dancing. Toasts being made to them and of course, everyone acting like this was all normal.

"We should be going." He glances at Chara. "They'll be leaving soon."

The newlyweds might not know it yet, but their Honeymoon would literally be to die for. He would make sure of it because Kosvo knew one thing without a doubt. This sort of match could not be sanctioned.

If their children took after both their parents, there would be no stopping them. So the sooner Sasuke was dead, the better everything would be for everyone.

Chara smiles and nods as she points to towards the Uchihas. "Alright." They had to hurry. "Let's go. We don't want to be left behind." That was most certainly true. After all, who knew where a demon would take their bride on their Honeymoon?


	12. Chapter 12

You Can't Plan Love

 **Author's Note:** Thanks for the reviews. I hope that you all enjoy this chapter. I can't promise this, but I am hoping to update this story quickly from here on out. Either way though, I still have no intention of abandoning this story. Happy reading.

Chapter 12

"This is such a drag." Shika shakes her head as they fly on the back of Garuda. "Do I really have to wear the blindfold the entire time?"

Sasuke couldn't help, but laugh at that. Only Shika would be pouting over the blindfold in such a lazy way.

Anyone else would have been terrified or curious. "Yes, you do." He smiles, even though she couldn't see it. "We'll be there in a few minutes anyway."

They had been flying over the countryside for hours. To say the least, the view of the forests, the meadows, farmland, and cities was speculator. Not that Shika could see it, but still.

"You know that I'm going to Shadow Possession Jutsu for this, right?" She shakes her head.

Hmm. That did have possibilities. Maybe, he could copy that technique later. It would certainly save him a lot of time on the battlefield and perhaps, even be useful in the bedroom.

He smiles as he wraps his arms around her waist. "You can try." Sasuke would be rather amused, if she did.

Shika was a practical woman. She had to know it was a fight she couldn't win. Which made any attempt of hers to strike him downright comical. It was like a newborn kitten trying to take on a tiger.

The kitten's only hope was outsmarting him. On second thought, maybe he shouldn't provoke her. While he'd never been accused of being dense from an academic perspective, there was a reason why she had been chosen to be a chief strategist during the war.

"There's no trying." Shika sighs as she rests her head against his shoulder. "Only succeeding."

He chuckles at that as Garuda beings to make his descent. They were here. Shika just didn't know it yet.

"I suppose that's true." He smiles when the giant bird of pray lands and deftly carries his wife off in his arms.

They were in the Land of Iron. Many people probably still thought him a creature of rage who couldn't appreciate the finer things in life like irony, but that wasn't true. Going to the land where the Kages had held their summit for their Honeymoon had been a stroke of genius on his part.

He smirks at that thought while he carries a squirming Shika into the beautiful inn he had selected for them. It was a nice white building with a river in the back. A fact that he planned to take full advantage of later.

"I can hear water running." Of course, it was no surprise that Shika could hear that. "Where are we?" She was a ninja. Her senses had been honed to perfection because they could make the difference between life and death.

"The Land of Iron." Sasuke carries her to their room, after paying the receptionist. "There's a river out back."

A few minutes later, Shika looks around in amazement. How her husband had found out about this was anyone's guess. Then again, he had traveled far and wide before the war.

"A king sized bed and a fireplace?" She laughs as she pulls him onto the bed with her. "You're definitely spoiling me, but that won't get you out of trouble for blindfolding me."

The bed was large and so damn soft. Who knew that Sasuke Uchiha preferred a soft bed or perhaps, he just assumed that she did. Who knew?

The white blankets were ironic, she muses. White was the symbol of purity. Which she was sure none neither of them would be by the end of the day.

"I was counting on that." He chuckles as he kisses her. "So what did you have in mind?"

He looked for all the world like some kind of lion that had cornered his prey. Which Shika figures wasn't too far from the truth.

 **Warning Lemon**

She smiles at that thought as she deepens the kiss. "Well first, you should really lose those clothes." The sooner the better actually.

Sasuke smirks at that as he swiftly pulls his shirt over his head and then proceeds to mimic the efficient action with his pants and boxers. Well, that answered that question, Shika muses to herself.

"I never thought that I'd see the day when you were so good at following orders." She couldn't help, but smirk at that as she slowly slides out of her wedding gown. "I'm sure the Leaf Village will be fascinated by your suddenly submissive side."

It was probably dangerous to taunt a man like him, but there was something exciting about that. Exciting enough that she didn't mind unhooking her fragile, lacey white bra and pulling off her other argument garments as Sasuke watches her.

Even without his bloodlines, there would have been no mistaking the hunger in his eyes. Unconsciously, she feels herself shiver a bit at it.

"The men at least would understand when they saw what you looked like underneath your wedding dress." Sasuke rolls his eyes at her playfully as he kisses her again.

Her lips were always so soft and she always responded to him perfectly. Neither trying to dominate the kiss or by being a beautiful china doll and doing nothing.

He cups the back of her neck with one hand as he deepens it and allows his other to explore the soft valley of her ample breasts. Her uniform could hide a lot. That and her casual demeanor meant she wasn't noticed for the beauty that she actually was by most.

"Kakashi was a bad influence on you." Shika laughs between heated kisses as she flips them.

He probably was. Though there were some perks to having a deviant as one's teacher. Kakashi and Shika weren't the only ones who had read those books, Sasuke smirks to himself as he lavishes a rosy pink nipple with his tongue.

It was taunting him really. Who could have blamed him and by the Gods and Goddesses did he love the gasp and mew of pleasure that follows.

"Sneaky." She shakes her head as she covers his all too sensitive neck with kisses and lovebites. "But I've got something even better." Uh oh.

He had been kidding about that. "You're not serious." Mostly. "It was too late though, Shika had already used her Shadow Possession Jutsu!

She was serious though because Shika continues nipping at his collarbone while Sasuke tries to retaliate by kissing and sucking lightly on her breasts.

The way she squirms told him all that he needed to know. His neck was his spot, but he knew hers now too.

"I'm serious." She nods at him. "Very serious." Shika slowly glides her hands over his chest and tries not to sigh in contentment at the action.

She had seen him shirtless before, but their relationship had been relatively innocent thus far. So yeah. She was going to enjoy the view of that ivory marble for a moment and tease him without mercy.

"Evil." He shakes his head. "Undo the Juts." Sasuke smirks at her. "You know you want to."

She would eventually. The simple matter of the fact was her chakra reserves couldn't compete with his, but for now she'd have her fun.

"Later." So she moves down and covers his chest in kisses while her hand softly begins stroking him.

Only a miracle of biology would allow them to fit together. "Fuck!" Though it was quite satisfying to hear Sasuke's rugged breathing from that simple action.

"We're about to." She laughs softly as she watches him try to free himself from her Jutsu. "There's really no point in trying to get out. Just admit that I'm in charge and enjoy the show."

She was already half insane with desire from the way he was looking at her and the few kisses they had exchanged. That was before he decided her breasts were his favorite new toy. She wouldn't last much longer than him the first time, if at all.

Sasuke nods dumbly. "H-Have it your way." He bucks against her touch.

He had been reduced to stuttering. There was no winning after that, but he way the busty goddess was touching him made him not care all that much as she shyly took him into her mouth.

That's when he was really glad for the Jutsu she had cast. Otherwise, he would have bucked into her mouth on instinct and probably half choked her. How could anything feel this good?!

The way her mouth was wrapped around him and her tongue was teasing him was driving him to insanity. It took all his self restraint not to spill his release right then and there.

"Mmm." Shika bobs her head up and down the length of his arousal. "I thought you'd see it my way."

She even went so far as to purr while she did it and that's when his self-control snapped and Sasuke notices her concentration must have slipped. He was free of that damn Jutsu.

It was enough for him to regrettably pull himself away from that talented mouth of hers. He wouldn't act like some Chunin who couldn't control himself on their wedding night. Intimacy was a two way street.

"Mostly." It was his turn to flip them as he quickly pins the other ninja underneath him and parts her legs. "Now, it's my turn."

Before Shika could respond to that, Sasuke had already parted her legs and his head was soon buried between her thighs. Causing her to cry out in shock and delight as he begins lapping at her center in the way someone might savor a fine wine.

"W-Where did you learn how to do that?!" She pants and bites her lower lip in a futile attempt to prevent herself from screaming in ecstasy.

Sasuke smirks at her. "You're not the only one who read those stupid books." Before going back to making love to her with his mouth and rubbing her clit with her thumb.

Which enough to make her see stars and writhe against him. "They're d-definitely not stupid now." She could only hope that was enough to convey her ahem receptiveness. Saying the actual words would turn her face a permanent shade of red.

Sasuke smirks at that as he slides two fingers inside her. Probably testing her readiness. Neither of them had actually done this before, but that only made it more beautiful. They would be each other's first.

Beautiful. The way she was leaning into him was glorious as was everything else about his wife. She definitely wasn't being lazy now. The woman was already so wet.

"Do you think you're ready?" He kisses her and Shika gives a quick nod.

He wasn't sure how he found the words to ask really. His brain was most assuredly shutting down. He'd been reduced to little more than a creature of instinct and Sasuke was sure that Shika felt the same way.

"Yes." She wraps her legs around him encouragingly while Sasuke deftly removes his fingers. "Don't worry."

It was sweet that she was reassuring him, Sasuke thinks to himself as he slowly slides into her. Perfection. Hot, wet, and tight. They fit together so perfectly, but he did notice a wince from his lover.

That was only to be expected though. So he kisses her again and rubs her clit while caressing her ample breasts.

A sharp, hot tearing sensation was how Shika knew her innocent was a thing of the past. She didn't have time to dwell on it though as Sasuke quickly kisses her and she returns it.

His hands weren't idle though. They were everywhere and soon enough, so were hers. Over the curve of his muscular back and backside, his thighs, and everywhere else she could reach.

"Ah!" The pain was rapidly receding into something completely different.

Pure, raw, and unadulterated pleasure. "R-Right there!" Sasuke was now brushing up against something that made her feel as though she was flying with every thrust.

Upon hearing that, Sasuke angles his thrusts to hit that spot. Repeatedly. If there was one thing he was good at, it was aiming.

"I love you." He kisses her again.

The action half muffles her scream. It was a good thing that he had decided upon an Inn and not a hotel at this rate. His wife apparently could be rather loud when properly motivated and Sasuke intended on giving her ample motivation.

"I love you too." Somehow the declaration is heard between their heated kisses.

Sasuke sighs in pleasure and returns the kiss. Their bodies were moving as one now underneath the stormy blue ceiling. In their own little room. Away from the rest of the world.

The bed was shaking, but Shika didn't care. All she cared was getting more and more of his touch. Something that Sasuke was more than willing to provide, it seemed.

"Sasuke!" She was so close and one final thrust was enough to send her spiraling into a carnal frenzy.

Her lover wasn't far behind though. Sasuke soon joins her in achieving his bliss, but their lovemaking was far from over.

 **End of Honeymoon Lemon**

* * *

By the time their Honeymoon was over, Shika doubted there was a single spot in or even directly outside that Inn that they hadn't celebrated their marriage on. Sasuke Uchiha was nothing, if not very, very thorough.

"It's almost a shame to go back." Sasuke smirks at her as they finish packing.

Fortunately, they were both used to such things. No ninja worth their salt couldn't pack quickly and they were both exceptionally salty ninjas!

Shika snorts at that. "If we don't, Naruto will hunt you all over the Five Nations again." No one had time for that. Though she was definitely going to miss that river.

Who knew that Sasuke had a thing for water? It was ironic given that his affinities were fire and lightning, but moving on. They had to get home.

She couldn't allow herself to be distracted by the thought of a wet Sasuke. Water definitely was a kind element to him and yes, they should most assuredly be going.

"That's true." He nods at her. "Well, I'll be back in a bit." He kisses her forehead. "I'm just going to go into town and get some food. It'll be faster, if I do it and then we can head off."

As annoying as it was to admit, he was probably right about that. Sasuke did shopping like everything else. Like a predator. Fast and efficient. Well almost like everything else, except when it came to Clan Restoration efforts, but Shika digressed.

"Alright." She nods at him. "I'll see you in a bit." The lazy genius kisses her husband, who was wearing a Jonin outfit just as she was. "I'm sure that you'll come back with a bunch of tomatoes."

He snorts at her and nods. "Well, of course." As if it was perfectly normal to have a tomato fetish. "Probably won't take more than a few minutes or an hour tops." With that being said, her sexy husband walks off and that's when things got crazy.


	13. Chapter 13

You Can't Plan Love

 **Author's Note:** Thanks for the reviews. I hope that you all enjoy this chapter.

 **Chapter Notation:** This takes place approximately five months after the previous chapter.

Chapter 13

Shika shakes her head at Sasuke. "I think you're overreacting." She was hardly the first woman to become pregnant.

Of course, the proud Uchiha patriarch takes that comment about as well as one could reasonably expect. Which was not very well at all. Her husband could be quite the stubborn creature when he wanted to be.

"You're pregnant." He shakes his head. "You should be on maternity leave. Remember what happened when we left for our honeymoon?"

Shika rubs the back of her head sheepishly at that. Oh yes. She remembered that as clear as day. How could she ever forgot?

 _Sasuke had just left to buy some supplies when something strange happened. He walked right back into the room and didn't have so much as a single tomato (or anything else) on him._

 _"Did you forget something?" She blinked in confusion._

 _The man shook his head and smiled. "No. I was just checking us out with the receptionist." The way he shook his head was all the proof she needed._

 _Whoever this guy was, he certainly wasn't her husband. Sasuke would revert back to the Bubble Eyes Jutsu when he was confused. This guy hadn't done that._

 _So she did what any intelligent person would have done in her position. "I don't believe you." She captured him in her shadows and grabbed the nearest kunai. "You had better tell me why you're impersonating my husband."_

 _She made a shallow slash at his throat to prove her sincerity. The imposture was not only a liar, but a coward to boot because he caved almost instantly._

 _"It's too late now." He smirked at her. "We weren't planning on killing you anyway. Only him. By now Chara will have found him and poisoned him."_

 _Another cut, this time she dug the kunai in deeper. "You're not very smart, smirking when you're about to get your throat slashed." He gulped at that._

 _It was a team effort then. Whoever Chara was, she was about to attack Sasuke. There simply wasn't any time to waste on torturing this fool._

 _"She's doing the same Jutsu and will poison him when his guard's down." He smirked again. "Not that knowing that will do you any good. She's probably already done it or even if she hasn't, you won't get there in time."_

 _The man clearly underestimated her as Shikama slams her kunai into man in a vital spot. Paralyzing him._

 _"You seem to forget that I can Body Flicker as well as the next Jonin." She ignored his screams and promptly Flickered to the market._

 _What she found disturbed her greatly. Sasuke was looking at some tomatoes when 'she' showed up and smiled at him._

 _The woman kissed him in greeting as would be expected of a new wife on her Honeymoon, but Sasuke only kissed back for a second before he realized something was wrong. Very wrong._

 _"Who are you?!" He lunged at her, only to start coughing._

 _He wasn't just coughing though. The man had started coughing up blood._

 _"I'm your worst nightmare." She smiled at him. "We've researched you thoroughly. We know that you're immune to most poison, but that one was one Orochimaru didn't have in stock. Evergreen Venom."_

 _That damn bitch. Shika instantly raced over and slammed the kunai she still had in her hand into her heart._

 _There was no time for mercy. That poison had already been transferred into Sasuke via a kiss. They needed to get him to a doctor._

 _So that's exactly what she did by grabbing him. "I'll explain later." There was no time to waste._

"They figured they'd poison by pretending to be me." She sighs and shakes her head. "Which is actually a good strategy." Hell, they had even planned to distract her with a fake Sasuke.

Her husband glowers as they continue on their way towards the hospital. "Yes, they did." They had also died brutally for their crime. "Which is why it doesn't hurt to be careful, especially when you're this far along."

Shika nods and lets him drag her along. It was sweet really that Sasuke was feeling so protective. Who would have ever thought that he'd be such an overprotective papa bear. The thought makes her giggle.

Which in hindsight, might not have been the smartest move on her part. Sauske was now giving her quite a funny look for that.

"Never mind." She smiles at him. "Tsunade is already waiting for us and we're going to find out the gender or genders today." They were expecting twins because the father of her children was Sasuke Uchiha. Of course, he had to go and be an overachiever even when it came to reproduction.

He nods at her. "You're right." Even he looks a little nervous at keeping that woman waiting. "Let's go."

* * *

On the other side of the village, Suigetsu shakes his head. Naruto was going to get himself killed at this rate.

"You definitely don't want to be there while they're trying to figure out if they're having a boy and a girl, two girls, or two boys." The blond would get freaking murdered. "Sassy has a bad temper on the best of days and he's going to be really, really high strung this time."

Facts were facts. If the sapphire eyed ninja went there or if anyone came near him and Shika at this point, they'd be slaughtered. It was really basic math. Math might not be his best subject, but Suigetsu knew that much at least.

The aspiring Hokage glares at him. "I'm sure the bastard wouldn't kill me just for offering him moral support." Well, that was debatable.

Hell, even Karin seemed to think so. "Naruto, it's a private family moment thing." The red head pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose as if to give her an excuse to stall for time. "So it's probably better to wait. We'll find out soon enough anyway."

That was unexpectedly, reasonable of her. Maybe Suigetsu should check to make sure that was actually Karin and not just some imposter.

"They're right." Jugo nods at Naruto.

The blond wasn't too happy about their explanation, but whatever. They had just saved his life.

Sakura sighs and shakes her head. "Gods and Goddesses help us all when she actually goes into labor."

Now there was a scary thought. Sassy was ridiculously protective of Shika and their twins. The whole Leaf had better have fire insurance. That's all Suigetsu was saying.

"I guess you're right." Naruto shakes his head. "Anyway, I guess I should go and tell Kakashi the good news."

More likely than not, the blond just wanted an excuse to go and spy on the happy family. Not that Suigetsu could entirely blame him. He was pretty curious about what the super babies would be like himself.

Sakura laughs and walks off with Naruto. "You're not getting off that easily. I'm going with you." Yeah. That was probably a good idea.

Suigetsu wasn't going though. He had more important things to do. Like checking out the Leaf's weapon shop!

* * *

A few minutes later, Shika smiles as Tsunade sets her up for an examination. Today was the big day. They were finally going to find out what gender or genders the twins were going to be.

"Alright, Sasuke." The busty blonde eyes him warily. "Before we start, I want to know that you're not going to end up Amaterasuing the hospital in your excitement."

To be fair, that wasn't an unreasonable concern. Sasuke had been on pins and needles the entire day. He had even told her it reminded him of his fight with Haku so many years ago.

"I'm not going to set the hospital on fire." He scoffs as if the very idea was preposterous. "Now, will you please just do your job?" So much for his respect for Tsunade. When he was nervous, Sasuke would always revert back to his default mode. Sarcasm.

Sasuke grumbles, but makes no further sign of protest as Tsunade continues attending to her. It was cute really. Sasuke Uchiha + pouting = hilarious.

Her husband really did have the most expressive face when he let his guard down enough to show emotions other than boredom, smugness, and rage.

"Let's see what you have here." Tsunade looks at the screen. "You'll be happy to know that the fetuses are both developing normally. I just need to get a closer to look to determine their gender."

Well yes, that was only common sense. Shika didn't know why her heart was pounding as much as it was at the moment, but she was grateful when Sasuke grabs her hand in his own and intertwines their fingers in a show of support.

He might not be the most 'sappy' person, but Sasuke wasn't completely oblivious. One thing that he understood very well was distress, even if it was as 'mild' as nervousness.

"They definitely look like boys to me." Sasuke smirks at them.

Tsunade rolls her eyes at the expectant father as if thoroughly exasperated and she probably was. "Sasuke, those are their arms!" Yup. The raven haired man had made one critical error when it came to anatomy.

Sasuke's cheeks turn an adorable shade of pink, but Tsunade continues on. It truly seemed as if nothing was going to stop her from doing her current task. Not even Sasuke's riveting commentary.

"There!" She smiles at them, after a few minutes. "They're shockingly shy for Sasuke's children, but I've finally determined their gender." The medic shakes her head as though she was annoyed at having lost some unnamed battle. "Despite the fact that Sasuke apparently can't tell an arm from another body part, he was right. They're both boys."

They were both boys? Shika blinks at that. They were having identical twins?

For some reason, she hadn't really allowed herself to contemplate what having identical twins would mean. This was going to be complicated and fast. How on Earth were they ever going to tell them apart?!

"I told you so." Sasuke smirks at them. "I told you that they were boys."

Well, she supposed that they would find a way. It was a drag, but maybe she could just sew their names in to their shirts or something. Yeah. That might be the easiest way to do it.

"They were either going to be two girls, a boy and a girl, or two boys. It was a thirty-three percent chance that you were going to be right." Tsunade rolls her eyes at him. "So I don't see what you're so damn smug about." That was a good point, but Sasuke just looked so cute at the moment that Shika didn't have the heart to verbally agree.

"Well, our thirty-three percent chances are going to be highly amused when they come into the world and see your balloons." Sasuke scoffs as he helps Shika out of the bed. "Come on. Let's go."

She didn't bother to resist. Shika was feeling kinda sleepy anyway. Carrying two Uchiha-Nara or Nara-Uchiha babies was hard work. So much so in fact that it takes her a moment to realize that Sasuke had just thrown a subtle jab at Tsunade.


	14. Chapter 14

You Can't Plan Love

 **Author's Note:** Thanks for the reviews. I hope that you all enjoy the grand finale of _**You Can't Plan Love.** _Oh and if you're interested, feel to check out my other stories and profile. Happy reading.

 **Chapter Notation:** This takes place approximately four months after the last chapter.

Chapter 14

Shika bites her lower lip as she tries her hardest not to scream again. A ninja's pride could be a foolish thing sometimes. This was especially the case during childbirth.

"Keep pushing." Tsunade smiles at her encouragingly. "You're doing amazing."

She certainly didn't feel amazing. Almost four months ago, Shika found that she was expecting twins and she had been joyous. Right now that was no longer the case.

"THIS IS SUCH A DRAG!" There was no point in even trying to hold back her screams, Shika decides as another contraction hits. "How about you do the pushing instead?!"

Twins meant that she had to do this not once, but twice. Maybe she should just ask for anesthesia after all. Lots of people used it and while it might make the twins a bit dazed, that was probably better than driving her to insanity.

"I would if I could." She shakes her head. "You're almost there and Sasuke is hiding in the waiting room. He's still suitably terrified of you, if that makes you feel any better."

It did actually. Shika knew that she was being extremely petty, but she just couldn't help it. It was nice to know that she was capable of striking fear into the infamous Sasuke Uchiha.

"A bit." She nods at her.

Her relief doesn't last long though as another scream echoes throughout the delivery room. Damn it. It was amazing how apparently most mothers went through this.

"Is it too late to have a c-section?" She glances at Tsunade hopefully.

The busty blonde smiles at her and shakes her head. "Those are done out of medical necessity." This seemed like a necessity to her! "You're labor is progressing perfectly normally for someone expecting twins." Perfectly normally her hindquarters!

Whatever. It was a drag, but she had to do it. Sasuke had better wait on her hand and foot for the rest of her life though.

Not that he wasn't already doing that now due to her pregnancy, but it was really the principle of the thing.

* * *

Watching Sasuke pace up and down the length of the waiting room was both amusing and disturbing. Kakashi had never seen his most sullen student in such a state before.

"Sasuke, you're going to wear holes in the carpet at this rate." He chuckles as he flips another page in his book. "Don't worry so much. She's got Tsunade looking after her. She's in good hands."

The best hands possible actually. Then again, the silver haired ninja should have known that his pleas would fall on deaf ears. This was Sasuke Uchiha. He never did anything the easy way.

"Yeah." Suigetsu nods in agreement. "So chill, Sassy."

That and Suigetsu was likely about to die. Thankfully, Jugo has the good sense to wrap his hand around the other ninja's mouth. Otherwise, the hospital's waiting room floors would have been dyed a dark shade of red.

"You're really trying to get yourself killed." Karin rolls her eyes at him.

Of course, Team Taka wasn't the only team in the building. Team Seven was also there.

"I still can't really believe it." Naruto grins at them. "The bastard is going to be a father."

That was right. It was hard to believe. His little Genin were all grown up. It was almost enough to bring a tear to Kakashi's eye.

Sakura swats him upside the head for that comment. "You're going to get Chidoried at this rate and I'll laugh." It was also nice to see that some things would never change. Team Seven's dynamic had always been interesting to say the least.

"Will you all just shut up?" Sasuke twitches as he sighs and looks out the window.

Poor Aoda and Garuda were outside. They were causing quite the spectacle, but neither of them seemed to care all that much. It was touching to see the lengths they'd go when it came to supporting their master.

"Are you sure it's a good idea to show a newborn baby to a giant snake and hawk?" The blond looks at Sasuke with concern.

To which Sasuke rolls his eyes and shrugs. "It'd be no different than you showing your kids to Gamabunta." He smirks. "Though you're too stupid to know how to have kids in the first place. So I guess that wasn't really a fair comparison, Loser."

Yes, indeed. Some things would never change. Kakashi shakes his head in amusement at the thought as he continues reading his book. It was likely going to be a long night and possibly morning as well. Apparently, labors could go on for awhile.

* * *

Hours later, Sasuke hears two loud cries pierce through the hospital and does the only thing he could do in that situation. He races straight towards the delivery room.

"Are they alright?" His eyes nervously scan the room.

Tsunade laughs and shakes her head. "First time fathers are always such a wreck, but yes." Sasuke scowls at the not so subtle taunting. "All three of them are fine, but Shika will need a lot of rest."

Well of course, she was going to need a lot of rests. Anyone would have to be a complete idiot to think that wouldn't be the case. She had just given birth to twins.

Never mind. He'd point out logic to Tsunade later. "They're beautiful." He smiles as he darts over towards Shika and looks down at the two adorable babies wrapped so lovingly in their little blankets.

"They had better be after what I went through." Shika scoffs at him. "It'd a be a real drag, if they weren't."

He snorts at that and smiles. Their sons had Shika's spiky black hair (or was it his spiky black hair) and most of his facial features. Though their skin was a shade or two darker than his own and they definitely had Shika's chin and eye color.

"The oldest will be Asuma." She smiles at him after noticing that he was admiring their twins. "The youngest will be Itachi. It's the best way I can think of to honor both of their memories."

Sasuke nods in agreement. "Those are perfect names for them." He kisses her forehead and smiles. "Though I suppose that I shouldn't expect anything less from a genius."

There were definitely benefits to marrying a genius. Particularly in the bedroom, he thinks with a smirk.

"That's right." Shika returns his smirk with one of her own and that's when the doors flew open.

Wonderful. The stampede that follows suit would one by the stuff of legends, Sasuke thinks to himself with a sigh.

"WAHHHH!" Both his sons cry out.

"Awe." Naruto bolts over to them. "It's okay, don't cry. Uncle Naruto is here."

The idiot was likely only scaring them even more. He really just didn't know when to quit.

"Stop scaring them with your ugly face and loud mouth." Sasuke glares at Naruto.

It probably would have turned into an all out brawl, if Shika hadn't trapped them both in a Shadow Jutsu. Really, it was quite impressive that she somehow managed to do that right after labor.

Sakura laughs and shakes her head. "You've really got to teach me that one." Hell no!

Shika shrugs as she smiles cuddles the twins against her bosom and they begin to nurse. "I'll think about it." Both of them were now cooing happily. Not that Sasuke could blame them. He could think of no better place to soothe away your troubles than his wife's breasts (albeit for entirely different reasons).

Still, it was amusing to watch everyone's reactions. Jugo was obviously enchanted and Kakashi was smiling at them in amusement. Naruto was flailing and Suigetsu was trying to tickle their toys along with Karin. That didn't end too well for them. One got sparked and the other got burned.

"Fire and lightning affinities." Kakashi rubs the back of his head sheepishly at that. "I suppose there's really no need to test them for their chakra natures later on."

Definitely not. Though as he scoops up the boys and holds them by the window for Aoda and Garuda to see, Sasuke knew what was about to happen. They'd have to shoo the boisterous crowd out in favor of the Nara family. After all, Shika's parents would undoubtedly like to see their grandchildren.

"They're wonderful, Master Sasuke." Aoda beams at the children in a way that only a child loving snake could. "Garuda agrees with me."

As if to confirm that, the massive hawk kaws in agreement or whatever sound hawks made. Sasuke wasn't really sure what the proper word to describe that sound was, but he didn't care at the moment.

"Thank you." He and Shika both smile at them.

It was Jugo had had the common sense to corral everyone outside when he notices the proud grandparents at the door. "Come on everyone, let's go." He smiles at them. "I think this is more a family moment."

Sasuke nods at that. "Oh and Kakashi." He rolls at his eyes playfully at his former Sensei. "Don't make a habit of it, but this one time you were right to meddle."

The mask loving ninja laughs and nods as he heads off with everyone else. Well, save for the Naras. They race inside straight towards their grandchildren and Sasuke chuckles.

Their expressions were priceless. He didn't know who was more amazed. Him or them.

"They're adorable." Her father grins. "What did you end up naming them?"

Shika smiles at that. "Asuma and Itachi.' She pauses for dramatic effect. "Later on, we're going to take them to Kurenai's and introduce them to Kurenai and Mirai, but for now, it's probably best to get some rest."

Damn right it was. It wasn't every day that someone had twins. Sasuke had heard those screams and he still couldn't stop wincing from just secondhand exposure to them.

"You're right." He mother nods at her. "Very practical." Though she glances at Sasuke a bit uncertainly. "I can't believe that you introduced newborns to Aoda and Garuda. What were you thinking?"

Shika groans. "What a drag." She glares at her mother. "They're both perfectly safe or else I wouldn't have let him do it."

That was right and his Summons weren't pleased by her concern. Sasuke could hear them hissing and huffing in indignation. Garuda and Aoda were many things, but threats to children they were not.

"Calm down." He smiles at them. "So I have to say that it was a rather unlikely match. What made you decide that it wasn't too much of a drag to go through childbirth?

He was a good man. The guy was always teasing his daughter playfully. Which reminded Sasuke, they should probably have a daughter or two or three at some point as well.

"Well, I was just going to marry an average ninja and eventually have a couple kids." Shika shrugs. "But I guess you can't plan love and Sasuke can be extremely persuasive." As if to prove her point, their sons giggle right on cue. "Though we're not going for double digits, Sasuke." She gives him a dirty look.

He couldn't help but smirk at that. "So nine then?" A withering glare told Sasuke that his wife wasn't exactly pleased with that proposal, but she was right. "Alright. Alright, but you did just say you can't plan love."

Oh yes, his wife wanted to kill him. Even his In-Laws could tell because they were both laughing and looking at him rather sympathetically. They knew what was about to happen.

"No, but I can plan banishing you to the couch for even thinking about nine children." She gives him another dirty look.

Sasuke gulps at that. "Alright. How about five total?" He smiles at her. "That's a good number."

Shika sighs and shakes her head as she crosses her arms. She really did look so adorable when pouting.

"Five might be agreeable." She smacks her forehead in frustration. "Knowing Uchiha math though, I'm sure you actually mean since because you'll probably surprise me with another set of twins or even triplets."

Hmm. Now that did sound like an interesting idea. "Maybe." Sasuke smirks at her. "After all, those sorts of decision are more up to nature than us and I like our odds."


End file.
